Ah, love. It is a tale as old as time, and for many, something that we never truly think about. We know that we love others – maybe love one special someone in particular – yet we never really think deeply about why it is that we need love.
Scientists, sociologists, and countless other experts in just about every field of science have spent a lot of time, money, and resources trying to figure out the reasons behind why we love. From what makes someone’s heart pound to what makes you attracted to another person, there are plenty of questions out there. But with very few answers.
From platonic love to sexual love
and everything in between, love is not a clearly defined term, nor is it something that we understand. Everyone experiences love differently, and truthfully, there are no rules. This is why it is so difficult to figure out what makes people tick when it comes to love!
Not sure how to tell your partner what you love about them specifically? If you can’t find the words for your affection, you might be able to tell them by going through the following scenarios.
So Why do You Love Someone?
1) You share common experiences
People often love those with whom they have shared common experiences
. For example, when you have siblings, there is something that connects you, even if you don’t always like each other all the time. No matter how much you argue, you will be bonded for life. The same goes for other types of relationships, too. When you bond with someone through shared experiences, you often love them.
2) They treat others well
Many people state that they love someone else because they appreciate how the target of their love treat others. If your partner is disrespectful of the feelings or needs of others, you may find that you love them solely for that reason. Not only do they pay attention to others, but they do so in a way that you can appreciate.
3) They make you feel safe and appreciated
You likely won’t love someone who makes you feel unstable. True feelings of love are often expressed for those who provide you with a sense of stability and security. They are your “emergency contact” – the person upon whom you can always rely. You can tell them your most hidden fears and needs and you will likely have a strong emotional bond with that person, feeling fulfilled and safe all at the same time.
4) You love the way they laugh
Does your partner’s laugh light up the whole room? When your partner is giggly and laughing so hard that they could hardly utter a sound anymore, this is often enough to make the highlight of your entire day. Having someone who has this kind of contagious laugh is enough to make you fall in love with them. If you are thinking about your partner’s laugh right now
as you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are in love with them.
5) They are always there for you, no matter what
Loving someone means that no matter what happens, you will be there for them. Likewise, they will be there for you. You won’t stop to think about whether they will be by your side because you just know that they will. They are the security in your life, as we mentioned before, and they will back you up no matter what.
6) They are positive
When you are having the worst of all days, who do you turn to? If your partner is the person whose attitude has salvaged some of your crummiest days, you are probably in love with them
. A person who is upbeat and positive all the time, even when their own lives have taken a turn for the worse, is definitely someone worth being with.
Even if your partner isn’t optimistic and positive, you might appreciate how he or she does not get bothered by the small stuff in life. This is an admirable trait and it is great to be so easy-going. It also makes being in a relationship with someone like that much easier!
7) They put you first
When you love someone, you likely do so because you know that they care about you. You should be able to love someone without exception and without fail. Likewise, the person that you love the most should be the one that puts your best interests at heart. Yes, even before their own!
8) They communicate
If your partner asks you about your day and genuinely listens to as well as cares about the answer, there is something to admire there. When you fight, you should be able to talk it out. Lack of communication is a common reason why most relationships fail. Therefore, being in a relationship with a good communicator is definitely something to appreciate.
9) They add something to your life
Loving someone who makes you feel as though your life is worth living is certainly worth a mention. You should be with someone who makes you feel enriched, supported, and mentally sound. The right person will do that for you.
10) They lack of selfishness
Sure, people will put themselves first every now and then and there is nothing wrong with that. But if your partner is the type who will not only hold the door
for you, but will also lay their jacket over a puddle so you don’t have to walk through it, that person is worth keeping. Selfless acts are some of the easiest ways for people to express their feelings. When you show appreciation for your partner’s selflessness, it can really strengthen your relationship. Your partner didn’t have to do your laundry, make you a separate dinner, or get your coffee for you – they did it because they love you and for no other reason than that.
11) You see your desired qualities reflected back at you
It can be hard to articulate what you appreciate most about your partner – but usually, you love a person because you know that without them, something would be missing in your life. Maybe you don’t even necessarily need them, but you recognize that they support, challenge, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. When you look at your partner, you see the person you want to be in the future reflected back.
12) They have sex appeal
This might sound shallow, but a healthy relationship has to have some element of attraction there and there is no better way to measure that than through being with someone that you think is downright sexy. Telling the person you love that they are sexy can help even more!
Even if you have been in a long-term relationship where you have let yourself go a bit – maybe not shaving your legs as often or putting on a few pounds, it is important to have some self-esteem boosters from your partner. After all, being intimate with your partner is important. You need to make sure that you both tell each other how sexy your features are, like their smile or their figure. Make sure you tell your partner how he or she turns you on – this is a great way to boost his or her confidence and to strengthen your relationship at the same time.
13) Life is hopeless without them
There are too many relationships in this world where people love others for entirely the wrong reasons. Sometimes, loving someone can come at your own expense, causing feelings of obsession or even fear. However, being with the right person will mean that you are not with someone solely because you are afraid of being alone. You are with them because you love them and for no other reason than that.
14) They are unconventional
If you have a husband who doesn’t expect the house to be spotlessly clean every night when he gets home from work, or if you have a wife who goes out and works hard every day instead of staying home to clean that aforementioned house, you should feel proud. There is something to be said about being unconventional and nontraditional. If your partner appreciates that you do not conform to the expected standards, you should feel lucky. And if you are one of these people, make sure you tell your partner how much you appreciate this, too.
What is Love? It is Whatever You Want it to Be
Love is just a word, right? In reality, love is a feeling that can only be quantified or defined on an individualized basis. Knowing why you love someone can be tricky, but really, it all comes down to how you feel about this person compared to all other people in the world. And that is a truly beautiful thing, indeed.