What to Look For in a Girl: the Top 10 Qualities Men Want

It is true that every guy has a type – a type of girl who automatically catches his eye. For some men it is a tall, slender woman, for others, it is slightly fuller, curvaceous ones. Some men will instantly notice a blonde woman in a crowd while others can’t help but drool over a dark-haired girl. It is all quite normal. Much like tastes in food, favorite colors, and hobbies. Even then, there are some traits which every man would desire in a woman no matter her size, skin color or hair color.

What to Look for in a Girl

These are some universally accepted traits to look for in a girl. We will mention some desirable traits and a few to avoid.

She is fun and outgoing

It doesn’t matter how old you are, it is important to be able to go out and have fun with your significant other. If your girl likes nothing but to have her nose in a book or is on her computer doing something all the time, you will probably get bored soon. Sure it is fine to curl up on the couch with a novel every now and then, but it is strange when a girl wants to do nothing else.

She is physically attractive

Hey guys, there is no shame in it anymore! No one should judge you for being drawn to a physically attractive woman – it is scientifically backed. The general concept of what is attractive and what is not does vary from one culture to another though. In American culture, for instance, slim, tall women are considered more attractive than full, curvaceous ones. In some other cultures, it is the curvaceous women who catch most eyes. Research shows that men are wired to be attracted to women who have features associated with the presence of high female hormones. This increases the chances of the woman bringing forth numerous, healthy offspring. This, therefore, perpetuates the human race. Believe it or not, there is some animalistic instinct in physical attraction. So, next time you approach a hot girl and ask her for her number, be confident and remember that it is your animalistic instinct to protect the human race from extinction.

She is honest

This goes without saying – no one wants to have a close, intimate relationship with someone they can’t trust. Imagine what it would be like to live with someone and every time they speak to you, your first thought is if they are lying to you or not. It would be utterly exhausting! Find a girl who is truthful in her words and her ways – one who values honesty and demands the same from you.

She is a positive thinker

Have you ever been around people who are negative about every aspect of life? Every conversation is about what is wrong, what could go wrong and why every effort to make it better just won’t work! So there is no point in trying. Negative thinkers are not only exhausting to be around, but they are also dangerous to be around. Why so? Because the negativity slowly begins to rub off on you. You do not want to become one of them. If your girl is as such, do your best to get her to see the bright side of life. If she is influencing you more than you are influencing her, then perhaps it is time to re-think the relationship.

She is smart…smarter than you

Some men are intimidated by smart women. However, most men realize that having a smart woman by their side is an asset. It takes a smart, confident man to be attracted to and be with a smart woman, especially one who is smarter than them. It is fun to have intellectually challenging conversations and debates with your partner. If you settle down with a smart woman, you will always have a superior brain to bounce your challenges off. Someone who can give you what you know will always be a sound, well thought through opinions which are in your best interest. Studies have proven that having an intelligent partner over many years could help protect you from dementia in your sunset years.

She has a sense of style

A man’s concern about a girl’s sense of style has a lot to do with physical attraction. Sure, many men encourage the women in their lives to just be themselves. On the other hand, every man wants a girl who makes an effort to look attractive. Even if a girl is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, it makes you feel good to be out with her looking her best. It is especially flattering when a girl goes out of her way to look good for you. Imagine this – you have made plans to take your girlfriend out on a date. That evening you arrive at her doorstep all dressed up for dinner and she is in a not-so-new T-shirt and jeans. She is wearing no makeup whatsoever. Wouldn’t you be a tad bit disappointed?

Confident about her sexuality

If you do not think about the sex factor when looking for your perfect girl, you are probably not being honest with yourself. Sex is an extremely important part of a relationship so it can’t be placed on the back burner. Many women were taught to believe that talking about sex or expressing what they want in the sack is crude and improper for a real lady. Look for a woman who does not cringe or shy away at the mention of sex. On top of that ( pun not intended…), a woman who enjoys sex and sees no shame in asking for it is a breath of fresh air to any couple’s sex life.

She is respectful

This is not to say that women do not want or deserve to be respected – they do. The difference is that men attach respect from their significant others to love. It is different for women. This is why respect is such a big deal for many men. Having a girl who understands this and puts it into practice could make the difference between a long, happy relationship and one of constant bickering. A girl should be able to respect your space, your ways and most importantly, speak to you with words of honor and respect and not as an inferior person.

She is confident

Confidence is a cliché trait. You would think it is obvious until you come across a terribly shy, unconfident girl and realize just how important it is. A confident girl walks with her head held high and is comfortable in her own skin. When you attend a social gathering with your girl, you do not want to have by your side a girl who can’t make basic conversations with other people because she is too shy to do more than mumble a few words under her breath, with her gaze glued to the floor. Wouldn’t it be more inspiring to have a girl who can comfortably get into a conversation with other people and confidently express her opinion?

She is loyal

Loyalty is a tricky trait to look for in a girl because you only observe its presence or absence in trying times. You may have been dating a girl for many months but only learn that she is not the loyal type when you face a challenge. Will your girl sit among a group of people and say nothing as they say all sorts of nasty things about you? If you happened to lose your job and can’t afford the life you had before, will she be the first person to walk out the door and not look back? Or will she stick it out with you, through thick and thin no matter what?

She is mature

Have you ever dated a girl and felt like you were dating a teenager? This is what maturity in relationships is about. Sometimes you can’t quite place your finger on it but you feel like you are the only adult in the relationship. Maturity – or a lack of it – can be observed in many ways. If a girl is constantly throwing tantrums because something did not go her way, she has some growing up to do. If you do not feel like you have the time and energy to wait around for her to grow up, you may want to think twice about the whole relationship.

She makes you laugh

This is a very important trait in a girl you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with. They say laughter is the best medicine and it really does help to laugh even when life is not going as you wish it could. Having a girl who can make you laugh can make it easier to get through the tough times. She does not have to be the kind who tells jokes or be the class clown. It could be a unique, witty way of expression or cute, random habits which always make you smile.

You make her laugh

Just as it is important to have a girl who makes you laugh, it would also be great to know that you can make her laugh as well. Knowing that he makes his girl laugh makes a man feel positive and confident in the relationship. Being able to make each other laugh comes from a deep sense of understanding and knowing each other. This helps to create a similar sense of exclusive humor, where you can both be falling off your seats with laughter when other people around you see nothing amusing in a situation.

She is able to compromise

Many people view compromise negatively and they see it as being subdued by their partner. That is why so many people fight it. However, the ability to compromise is actually a positive trait. It is the strength and willingness to give up something you want in order to accommodate the wants or needs of a partner. Healthy compromises foster trust, security and a sense of accountability in relationships. It allows you to grow together as a team. It is a constant reminder to yourself and your partner that you both have each other’s happiness at heart.

She balances your goals and hers

First and foremost, it is important to have by your side a girl who has goals and aspirations of her own. When the two of you become a couple, she should be able to support your goals and pursue her own at the same time. Be careful about a girl who is too willing to drop her own goals and aspirations to support yours 100%. This eventually breeds resentment against you. When all your goals are achieved and none of hers has, she may blame you for it.

She is willing to try new things

An adventurous spirit does not come with age. If a girl does not have it at an early age, she probably won’t grow one later. If you have an adventurous personality, look for a girl who will not think you are strange when you want to spend a week of your vacation climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. When it comes to going on an adventure, find a girl who is like yourself. If you both like trying new things and taking wild adventures, then it will strengthen your bond with each other even more when you do these things together. Make great memories out of them.

Traits You Should Avoid in a Girl

Highly judgmental

We all have flaws. No man wants to be with a girl who refuses to accept his flaws. Some women get judgmental about their partner’s flaws and this makes them feel unloved and unaccepted. It is worse when you have a flaw which you can’t do much about, such as a physical flaw.
  • Yes, there is always room for self-improvement. If timekeeping, for instance, is your flaw, you should definitely make an effort to be punctual more often.
  • If your flaws are things you have no control of, you are better off with someone who can accept them and love you in spite of them.

Someone looking to be rescued

Let’s be honest here – every guy has come across a girl who is sitting there waiting for Mr. Right to come along, sweep her off her feet, and make all her dreams come true. She dreams of living in a huge, luxurious mansion, driving a posh car – by spending other people’s money. This is definitely NOT someone you want to be with. Yet, many guys are intimidated by highly successful career women earning more in a month than what they earn in a year. However, if you weigh out the pros and cons, a girl who makes no effort on her own is likely to be more difficult to live with.

A hot-tempered person

All couples have disagreements. It is the ones who learn to manage them well who are able to keep their relationship alive for years. When one of the partners is quick-tempered, it can make even minor arguments flare-up. Look for a girl who does not struggle to keep calm during arguments and even manages to calm you down when you are angry. Just about any problem can be resolved by talking things through calmly and respectfully.

Manipulative and devious

If you have had to deal with manipulative personalities, you know the last thing you want is to have one by your side. It is too exhausting to always have to think twice before you accept anything she suggests. You never know if she is in some way or another trying to control your thoughts and actions for her selfish gain. How can you spot a manipulative woman from the onset? These are some classic signs of a manipulative woman.
  • She is controlling: She believes her way of going about a situation is the only way. It means all her needs are met because that is all that really matters.
  • She avoids responsibility: She blames you for everything that goes wrong, never accepting her responsibility in it all.
  • She is a harsh critic: she is judgmental for even the slightest of mistakes. She criticizes your every action or habit.
  • Charming and charismatic. A manipulative woman can be really nice. Some men say ‘she was the sweetest girl I’ve ever met.’ This is just a tactic to woo you. When you eventually see her true colors, ‘sweet’ is the last word you would use to describe her.
  • Discover more: How to Stop Being Manipulative: 10 Easy Ways

She clings to you

What could be possibly more annoying than a girlfriend who wants to come with you everywhere you go? She wants to spend every waking moment with you. Some women believe that this is what love is about. But I beg to differ. Even if she is stunningly beautiful and has a heart of gold, this will bother you eventually. Apart from the fact that every individual (yourself included) wants to spend some time alone or with other friends, spending all your time together is just not healthy. It is important that both of you have lives of your own. Have time apart, when each of you can spend time with friends, family or alone. If a girl is too clingy when you are dating, it is a sign of potential disagreements up ahead.

Final Thoughts

Every man will admit that there is a certain kind of girl who stands out in a crowd any day. However, this has a lot to do with physical features. Quite often, the most important traits are not physical. You can only identify them after spending a significant amount of time with someone. Use these traits as a guide to finding your perfect girl. Chances are that you will be Mr. Right for her as well.

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