When you are trying to attract a woman, what you say – or do not say – to her is extremely important. This is not to say that it is a good idea to be walking on eggshells every time you are with her, but it is true that some careless words
could cause a lot of hurt. Conversely, well, selected and timely words could have her falling for you in no time at all!
That said, it is not just about hitting the Google search button to find out what girls like to hear and quickly working them into a conversation. It really depends on the individual. Some words will melt one girl’s heart and mean zero to another. You have to get to know her first to find out what she is likely to appreciate.
Timing is Key
On top of getting to know her and knowing what to say, another aspect to keep in mind is timing. Some sweet words are appropriate at any time while others have to be said at a particular time and in particular settings for them to have the desired impact.
For instance, you should not throw around compliments randomly because doing this makes you seem insincere. A randomly thrown compliment or inappropriately timed one is most likely an insincere one.
Therefore, be mindful to only pay someone a compliment at an appropriate time and grab the opportunity as soon as it presents itself. Let her see exactly what made the thought come into your mind so that it does not seem like it came out of nowhere. Random compliments could end up doing more harm than good.
Here are some words you can cleverly work into a conversation to make her feel like a queen.
What Girls Like to Hear
You look amazing
You can’t beat this one. It does not matter if she is 19 or 91, no woman grows out of it. It always feels good to have someone say these words and it gets even better if it is someone she is romantically involved with. It makes her feel beautiful, loved and works magic to boost her confidence. Of course, timing is key on this one. Say these words to her when she is all dressed up for a special occasion rather than on a random day when she is in jeans and an old t-shirt.
Her drive and ambition are admirable
Again, situations and circumstances must be considered. You can’t say this to a girl who sits at home all day and waits to have others provide for her every need. It would seem sarcastic. Ambitious, hard-working people are often underappreciated. They love it when someone recognizes their effort. If she truly is an ambitious go-getter, she will appreciate hearing this compliment. It tells her that you have noticed that about her and also that it is something you consider valuable in a person.
Do you know what I love about you?
If there is one question every girl wants to hear the answer to, it is this one. Even if she has no doubt that you love her, she will definitely be delighted to hear what it is you love about her. Perhaps what she has always thought you love most about her is totally different from your answer. Give her a detailed answer with examples of situations you have been in and what she did or how she reacted. Either way, it is a win-win for both of you. It never fails to warm her heart.
You love her attitude toward life
A person’s outlook in life goes down to their core and this is actually a really deep compliment. You want to make sure you mean it when you say it. It makes her realize that you value more than good looks and pretty dresses while inner beauty means something to you. On top of that, you see great inner beauty in her.
You come first
With busy schedules and increasingly individual lives, there are very few spots on anyone’s list of priorities. That you have the top spot in your significant other’s life is extremely flattering. These words tell a girl that you are willing to drop anything to make sure she is happy and taken care of. If you had to choose between anything else and her, it is a no brainer for you – she comes first.
Make sure your actions actually match these words. It is no use to make her smile with these words and two weeks later when she is unwell in hospital, you choose to stay home to watch your favorite series.
We are in this together
Commitment phobia is a bad ‘disease’ which most often afflicts men. For this reason, women like to hear men verbalize their commitment.
These words could be:
- In relation to life in general. In this case, you are reassuring her that you are in it for the long haul. You have no intention of walking out even when times get tough.
- In relation to a specific challenge being faced at the time. It simply assures her that you are there to stand with her through a personal difficulty. These words are especially good to hear if she has been through lots of hard times on her own. They give her a sense of security and stability in you and the relationship.
You are committed to standing by her side no matter what.
I care about you
There are the 3 magic words of love… ‘I love you’, and then there are these 4 words ‘I care about you.’ Many couples have made a habit of saying ‘I love you’ almost subconsciously – at the end of telephone conversations or as one partner dashes out the door on a late morning. They are thrown around so often and so randomly that they lose their power somewhere along the way.
Perhaps this is why the 4 words seem to carry more weight. They are said in heart-to-heart and face-to-face conversations. Saying “I care about you” goes beyond romantic love, it says “I love you, I care about you, as well as everything and everyone that matters to you.”
How you feel
You may have been taught that you should never show a girl your feelings but that is absolutely not true. It is alright to be macho at first but a girl also wants to feel that she is not dating an emotionless rock. She wants to see the real person in you. Put simply, after a while, a girl will appreciate it if you are able to be vulnerable with her. It shows her that you trust her enough to let her see that side of you.
Let it come naturally. Do not sit her down one day and narrate to her a sob story about your childhood. It can be as simple as telling her about your day that did not go so well. If in the evening she asks how your day was, tell her that your boss had a go at you for something you forgot to do and you are feeling really bad about it.
You look forward to spending forever with her
Some men have been known to pick and drop girlfriends faster than the weather changes. You can’t blame a girl for wondering if you are one of those men and if she is going to be out of your life soon. A girl who is hoping for a long term relationship with a guy wants to hear some form of assurance from him.
You do not necessarily have to pop the question to do this. When you talk about things you would like to do in the future, mention that you would be happy if she was there with you. It could be a friend’s birthday party next month or a long-awaited vacation in a couple of months. The point is to pass the message that you hope she will be in your life for the rest of your life.
She turns you on effortlessly
It makes her feel good to know that she can turn you on when she wants to. It is even better for her to hear that sometimes she does it without even trying. It is a confidence boost which makes her feel attractive and desirable.
You are beautiful inside and out
Let her know that you think she is physically attractive but that she also has a beautiful heart. Make it a point to tell her how much you appreciate her personality and values. We do not have 100% control over how we look because genetics pretty much determines what we end up looking like. It will melt her heart to hear what non-physical traits in her stand out for you.
I can tell you anything
This is the ultimate declaration of trust – it makes a woman feel good that a man trusts her. These words tell her that you trust her completely and you feel comfortable enough with her to be emotionally naked with her. This is something many women long for in their partners. If you truly feel like you can tell her anything, let her know. It does wonders to strengthen your bond and rejuvenate feelings of closeness toward you.
You are available to listen when she wants to talk
Talking is therapeutic. Girls do more therapeutic talking than men do – so a girl will appreciate hearing that you are willing to be there for her in that way. It means a lot that you are willing to give up your time to just sit there and listen to her talk about something that is bothering her. It is one thing to make such an offer and make her feel loved at the time, but it is another to live up to the promise. When she does need to talk, avail yourself and do as promised – listen!
You saw another guy checking her out
You and your girlfriend are sitting at a restaurant having a meal. When she stands up to go to the bathroom, you catch the guy at the next table checking her out. When she gets back, tell her. It should not be in a jealous, angry kind of way but, instead, say it in a playful way. This kills three birds with one stone!
- First, it makes her feel like she was the hottest girl in town.
- It shows her that you recognize she is a beautiful woman who would be desirable to someone else.
- It garners you points. It shows her you are not the jealous, insecure type. If you can laugh about it, it means you are secure and confident.
She is beautiful without makeup
The role of makeup is to enhance beauty, therefore, it implies that there has to be something to be enhanced. You probably do not have to be reminded to tell her how beautiful she is when she has spent an hour in front of the mirror getting dolled up for a special occasion. However, do not forget to tell her she is beautiful even when she is not wearing any makeup. This tells her that you see and appreciate her beauty even in its most natural form.
This is why I respect you
Pop culture – and soap operas – have made us believe that romance is all we need to build and maintain a relationship. The truth is that it takes a lot more than that and one of the most important elements is respect. Just like men want to be respected, women crave respect from men too.
Can you imagine how great a woman would feel for the man in her life to verbalize his respect for her? It makes her feel loved and honored for who she is. Choose an appropriate time to tell her that you respect her and follow your statement with a reason.
This one is best said when a certain scenario presents itself. Perhaps she is telling how she is having a hard time at work because she won’t join some colleagues in something she considers unethical. This is a perfect time to tell her that you respect her for her high ethical standards and her resolve to stand by them even when it is difficult.
You are really smart
You can never go wrong with this one! We all like to think of ourselves as smart, so hearing it from you makes her feel good about herself. Tell her how smart you think she is. If you are discussing something and she gives her opinion on it, say something like ‘Oh yeah, I actually never thought of it like that. Interesting perspective… you’re really smart.’ There, the situation created the opportunity and you grabbed it perfectly.
Remember that you need to sound more impressed than shocked. You have been dating this girl for several weeks. It is a compliment when you say ‘you are really smart.’ The very same words said in a different way may not have the same effect. If you say ‘Oh my goodness you really are very smart.’… not so flattering. She will wonder if you thought she was dumb when you started dating her. Were you hoping for a dumb girl and are now feel disappointed that she is quite the opposite?
Ask her for advice
For many men, they would rather rack their brains for days than ask for help. To make your girl feel valued, ask for this kind of help from her. This one goes hand in hand with whether or not you think she is smart.
No one asks for advice from someone they think is a dimwit – and she knows that. When you ask for advice or her opinion on a personal issue, you are telling her that you have confidence in her thinking. You are saying that you think she can weigh in on an issue and give you a different or fresh perspective you did not have before. You might be surprised at what she has to offer.
I look forward to spending time with you
Tell her you love the time you spend together and always look forward to another date, day or evening when it is just the two of you. A girl wants to hear that she is good company – it boosts her confidence and makes her more at ease around you.
She has made you a better person
Here is another powerful one – tell her she has changed your life in some way and you like it. Let her know there are certain ways or habits which have changed ever since she came into your life and you are loving the new you as a result.
It does not have to be anything groundbreaking. For example, something as simple as timekeeping would work. Before you met her, you were always late for dates and meetings. Since she is a stickler for time, she has made you get into the same habit. You have applied it in every other area of your life and you feel pretty good about it.
How can I support you?
Support, partnership, teamwork – these are words and concepts women love to hear from their partners. ‘How can I support you’ is a powerful question laden with more than you think. You are stepping out of what would be considered your thing into hers, and offering yourself to help push her forward.
- You acknowledge that you don’t know how
Some men assume they know what their significant other needs and proceed to do it. As flattering as this is, their assumptions are not always correct. When a man asks this question, he is first and foremost, recognizing that he may not know what kind of support she needs so he should just come out and ask.
Secondly, he is saying he is more than willing to offer himself to support her in whichever way she might need.
She is like no other girl you have ever met
Telling her that she is unique makes her feel special. This is another one of those things that you can’t just say and leave it at that. You have to tell her what you find unique about her. Make sure it is not a flimsy reason she will see through and know that you are just trying to butter her up for something.
How was your day?
A simple but loving question. If you don’t live together, make a point to call her a couple of evenings a week just to ask this question. It makes her feel loved that someone wants to hear all about her day. It also gives you an opportunity to get to know her better. In the process of hearing about her day often, you hear stories of how she interacted with friends, colleagues, even strangers. All these will help you get to know her better.
Her smile makes you smile
Ooh, don’t those words make you smile? Say them to her and you can be sure she will smile and feel absolutely flattered! They will make her happy and will probably want to smile more when she is around you. You could also tell her that you think she has a cute laugh. If she has a uniquely loud or high pitched laugh, tell her that you love it.
Your friends like her
Whether you talk about it or not, girls know that guys value their friends’ opinion. Mention to her that your friends really like her and it will make her happy just to know that she is likeable enough. It also makes her feel that she, in some way, has some allies if you ever contemplated ending the relationship with her. If they like her, they would probably persuade you not to.
What are some character-building experiences you have?
Our experiences, including those from our childhood, play a significant role in making us who we are today. This is a great question, especially early on in a relationship. It can set the stage for a bonding heart-to-heart conversation. The more of these you have, the closer you become.
I hope you are free this weekend, I made plans for us
Women like to hear that the man in their life made plans with the two of them in mind. It does not matter how simple or elaborate the plans are. It could be as simple as plans to go to a movie and head back home or an intricately planned romantic getaway. Just hearing that you took the time to think about something for the two of you to do together will make her feel loved.
It is one of the magic words we learned in kindergarten – along with “please” and “sorry”. Even today, so many years later, it can work magic in your relationship. Stop and say thank you to your girl – whether it is for a delicious meal she prepared, for a bill paid or for mopping the kitchen floor. It makes sure she does not feel unappreciated and gives her zeal to keep at it.
Yes, sometimes what a girl needs to hear from you is nothing… nothing at all. When she starts talking about something that is bothering her, a man’s default setting is to jump in and try to offer solutions. Sometimes, she is not looking for a solution and all she needs is a listening ear.
Your words can be the Cupid’s arrow you use to get a girl to fall in love with you. If you are already in a steady relationship, it is possible for her to fall in love with you over and over again… and your words can make that happen. Get to know her, learn how she thinks so you can easily determine which sweet words will touch her. Once you know that, wait for the perfect time to shoot your arrows and watch them melt her heart.
Do not forget that words are just the beginning and they only get you through the door. Your actions are what will keep you in her heart so live up to your words. If you promise commitment, then show commitment! If you tell her that she is a priority in your life, then let her see it in practice in the decisions you make.