Is there any better feeling than having a crush? Being in love can make it seem like the colors shine brighter and like there is a new life that has entered your soul. It is truly the greatest feeling in the world! But, unfortunately, love does not always flow both ways.
Having a crush is like having a secret that you want to tell the entire world, yet you know that if you choose to reveal this secret, it could ruin your hopes and dreams. It can also lead to some intense rejection if the love is unrequited.
Often, the wisest way to handle a crush is to keep your feelings under wraps until you know exactly what the other person is looking for in a relationship. Because you haven’t yet expressed your feelings to this person, you may be able to get an idea of what they are looking for without requiring you to spill the beans. You will have insights that probably nobody else does.
How do you know what to say, though? Simple. You need a secret operation – one that will help you win their heart and figure out what they are looking for in a partner. This will get them to reveal to you the things that they probably would not tell someone that they were planning to ask out.
This is where you have a distinct advantage over your competitors. Even if your crush doesn’t have feelings for you yet, you can ask the right person and figure out how to become the lover of their dreams.
Stuck trying to figure out what to talk about? Think about these things which will help you figure out what drives them crazy – yes, in a bad way and a good way! You can also learn more about what your crush is looking for in a partner as well as in life.
Make sure to ask these questions in a nonchalant manner. If posed correctly, they will give you the entry point you need to make some great conversations and to convince them that you are the person they have always wanted to date.
Things to talk about with your crush
1. Start by getting to know your crush
Conversations function by helping you get to know other people. When you talk to your crush, you can become better acquainted with him or her and share personal information. This is a two-way street, but make sure you do not share too much information about embarrassing or painful situations on the first try. You might not want to get into too many details on these topics until later – when (or if) you know each other at a more profound level.
Your goal is to get the other person to be interested in you, so you will want to stick to topics that you know are safe. Try to establish a feeling of enjoyment and make sure that you ask your crush plenty of questions, particularly if there is one burning question you want an answer to.
2. Talk about the past
While talking about the future or the present can be a better solution for getting to know a partner, talking about the past can allow you to focus more on who your crush is and how they might act in certain situations. You might already know a lot about his or her family, where he or she grew up, or past relationships – but now is a great time to learn even more. Listen intently and be open to any new information. Oh, and make sure you are honest!
3. Talk about politics
Learning more about where your potential love interest stands politically is vital as it will help to prevent you from making overly bold statements that can be a major turn-off. For example, if your crush is an avid Republican and you are a diehard Liberal, you might accidentally offend them. Instead, avoid any serious conversations about politics that could pose you in a negative light.
4. Talk about their passions
What makes your crush tick? What do they enjoy? Asking your love interest about his or her interests will help you find some common ground and it will give you even more things to discuss. If you two happen to share some interests, your conversation will be even more enjoyable. It will also give you a gateway to initiate future conversations. For example, if both of you enjoy watching the same kinds of movies, you can ask your crush to go on a movie date with you without appearing to have an ulterior motive.
5. Talk about the future
If you are truly interested in this person, it is okay to chat about the future. However, it is probably too soon to talk about things like buying a house, getting married, or having kids. This can cause your crush to bolt as soon as you bring it up. However, you can talk about other dreams as well as short-term plans and goals. It may demonstrate that the two of you have more in common than you thought.
6. Give your crush compliments
I do not know a single person who does not appreciate a well-spoken compliment. Compliments make you feel happy about yourself but also can be a great way to start a conversation. Tell your crush how great he looks in his new sweater, and soon you will find yourself chatting about the store from which he purchased it. Oh, and that just happens to be your favorite store, too! Look how easy that is. Simple compliments can lead to the discovery of shared interests, which can lead to longer, deeper conversations as well.
7. Talk about work
An easy conversation starter is to ask your love interest what he or she does for a living. Ask if they are happy with their current job, or what their dream job would be. You could also explain what you do for a living. If you work in similar jobs, that is even better – you will surely have plenty to talk about.
8. Talk about family
Another option? Talking about the people who tend to have the most impact on your life – your family. Whether you like it or not, your family is an integral part of who you are. If you are able to talk about your family with your crush, regardless of whether your family is healthy or more on the dysfunctional side, you will be able to break through and learn more about who your crush is as a person.
9. Talk about friends
Friends can often be easier to talk about than family. Friends tend to be just as important as family and also have a major impact on our lives. Chatting about old memories with good friends can help the discussion flow quickly and easily with your crush. You might even be able to put a smile on his or her face!
10. Talk about their dream relationships
This is one of the most important things you can discuss with your crush. You need to get an idea of where you stand with your beloved because you need to know where these conversations are headed. It does not have to be creepy if you do this the right way – your crush does not even have to know the real reason why you are asking this. Do not jump right into it and ask the question out of the blue, but instead, hint around the topic to find out more about what your crush is looking for in a partner. This will help you figure out whether they are right for you and vice versa.
11. Talk about movies
You can often learn a lot about a person by their taste in movies. The kind of movies that they enjoy speaks volumes about their personality. Do they like stupid-funny movies or dry-funny movies? Do they like romances? Horror films? You can learn a surprisingly large amount of information about a person by paying attention to their favorite films.
12. Talk about travel
Whether their dream vacation is a romantic weekend in France or a backpacking trip across an Indonesia volcano, you can learn so much about a person by how (or if) they like to travel. Who knows, you might even be able to plan a trip together!
13. Talk about music
It is easy to find common ground over music. You can talk about local concerts with your crush and maybe you will just “happn to have tickets” some time. Who knows…
14. Talk about education
Is your crush a bookworm, or more of a slide-by student? The type of student that someone was, as well as which subjects they chose to pursue either personally or professionally, can tell you so much about who they are. For example, a person who studied literature at Harvard will be much different than someone whose activities mainly revolved around a fraternity. Finding out more about their educational background can tell you a lot about how serious a person is, among other things.
15. Talk about their favorite things
Learn more about your crush by asking him or her for more details about his or her favorite things. What are her favorite shows? Favorite food? Favorite animal? The list goes on and on, and there is truly no end to the potential topics you might be able to discuss with your beloved. You never know – your favorites might be their favorites, too!
16. Talk about life experiences
Discussing life experiences is a great way to learn more about your crush. You can find out some interesting stories about this person and find out more about how he or she overcame certain problems in life. Even if things do not work out with your crush, you might gain more information and advice that you can take forward and use in your own personal struggles.
17. Talk about curiosities
Find out more about what your crush thinks is interesting. Does he love football? If so, you can do some research on the game to familiarize yourself with the topic. Does she love animals? Maybe you can learn some new interesting information to help give you more to talk about with your potential sweetheart. It is always good for us to learn new things, so you may be able to take advantage of this topic in the long run even if things do not work out with your crush.
18. Talk about the weather
This one should probably be a last resort type of topic – there is no worse conversation starter than asking, “How’s the weather out there?” This can make you look extremely boring and as though you are not at all interested in what your crush has to say. Instead, try to make a more original comment like, “Man. it’s hot! I could sure go for an ice cream cone.” Who knows, maybe you can convince him (subtly, of course) to ask you on a date to Cold Stone.
19. Talk about yourself, and talk about them
You might want to wait until your relationship is more advanced, but by the second or third time you chat, you should start talking about your relationship. If you feel as though there is a special connection between the two of you, it might be worth it to try and open up your heart to see how the other person responds. Do not be overly aggressive or pushy and only talk about this topic if the other is comfortable doing so too.
20. Talk about funny topics
Humor is always appreciated in a relationship and there is no better way to get the conversation going than to introduce a joke or two. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac! Bring up a funny story that you saw on television or read in a magazine. If something particularly funny had happened to you recently, tell your crush about it too. Making the person you are interested in laugh is a great way to ensure that he or she will want to go out on a date with you.
21. Talk about controversial relationship topics
Namely, what do they think about one-night stands? This is an interesting topic to discuss with your crush, and you aren’t likely to offend him or her by discussing it. If you are just friends with someone, discussing how they feel about things like one-night-stands can give you a good idea of who they are as a person. Having conversations about sex ahead of time will also prevent you from making detrimental mistakes – like sleeping together too soon.
You should also have a conversation about how they feel about monogamy. Everybody has different ideas about monogamy’s place in a relationship, so asking your crush ahead of time about what they think is important. If you do this correctly, you do not have to worry about scaring them away. It can give you valuable insights as to whether the two of you are meant to be together and can also give you a better idea of what your crush is looking for in a relationship.
There are so many potential choices of topics for you to choose from when you are having a conversation with your crush. Whether you are chatting in person or over text, you should remember that the most important thing is to be positive and natural at all times. Be yourself! Whatever you do, you need to be honest if you want this potential relationship to last.
Make sure you pay attention to your crush’s responses – although it is understandable to be nervous while they are talking and you might occasionally forget what they said, you do not want to mess things up by misunderstanding or misquoting them. Or even worse, forgetting that you talked at all! So remember to be kind, be honest, and to stay calm.
Most importantly, enjoy the valuable time getting to know the person that you love!