Ask any long distance couples and they will tell you that they have had experience with awkward silences during their long distance chats before. If you are having problems holding a long yet interesting conversation with your long distance partner, do not worry! This is actually one of the most common difficulties that couples who live apart have and you are definitely not alone in this.
It is not that you do not care about each other but somehow, talking without your partner being right in front of you is just different. At times, it could seem cold and impersonal without you intending it to be.
You could be having a perfectly nice conversation and then suddenly, both of you seem to have run out of topics to talk about. A cringe-worthy awkward silence sets in and try as you might to think of something, anything remotely interesting to say, your mind comes up with a blank. The silence is so unbearable that you hastily create an excuse to end the chat and lamely bid your partner goodbye.
If the above situation sounds all too familiar to you, then you really do want to read on. Although this is not a huge problem for your relationship at the moment, not knowing how to have great long distance conversations have been known to cause couples to drift apart. However, this is an EASY problem to solve and with our guide, you’ll be having long yet interesting conversations with your partner without even thinking about it!
9 Great Conversation Tips For Long Distance Relationship Couples
Prepare in advance
Making preparations for what you want to talk about before your conversation will help you feel confident. Just like how public speakers put a lot of effort into preparing their speeches, you can apply the same concept to your long distance chats.
Of course, you should not write out an entire speech because you are going to chat with your partner, not have a monologue. Instead, you should create a list of things that you want to talk about in your conversation. It could be just any topic in general, some specific questions you want to ask your partner or even a particular story that you want to share.
If you think that preparing a list beforehand will result in an unnatural conversation, then you are wrong. On the contrary, you will not be afraid that you will run out of things to say and this confidence will keep the conversation flowing rather naturally.
You will not require a list every time you talk to your partner. This is just one way to get you started and after some practice, you will be able to hold a conversation with your partner effortlessly without the help of any list.
Jot down your thoughts throughout the day
Unfortunately, our brains do not work like a computer hard drive and we cannot usually summon a particular memory on a whim. This is why when you see something interesting happening, you should always jot it down when the memory is still fresh so that you can later share the experience in all its delicious details to your partner.
You can have a small notepad and pen always on you so that you can write down your thoughts whenever and wherever you are. Otherwise, you can also use your phone to write down any interesting events you have experienced.
Just before your conversation starts, read through your notes again and you will find that the story you want to tell your partner is so fresh in your mind as if it has just happened minutes ago. Have the notepad or phone within reach when you are talking to your partner in case you need another memory refresh.
Every little detail counts
Most of us go through a routine every day – waking up in the morning, working, doing chores, eat, sleep, etc. Therefore, it is understandable that you might think that there are days where there is nothing interesting at all to talk about, right? Wrong!
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Although you go through a fixed routine, not every single day is exactly the same. For example, you might spot someone wearing a funny T-shirt on your way to grab coffee in the morning. Perhaps you have misplaced your keys again but in a totally unexpected place.
There is always something interesting happening every day. You just have to remember to jot them down and then share them with your partner. Trust me, they will love the small details and this is actually a very effective way to bond with your partner.
Just be yourself
Many of us tend to put a filter on the things we say, especially to someone we care about. We are constantly judging ourselves and this influences the things we talk about and the way we talk too. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are more inclined to only say things that we believe will make the other person have a good impression of us. While this can be good in certain situations, like during a business meeting or when you are in an interview, it can be lead to adverse effects on your relationship in the long run.
When you are in a long distance relationship, it is crucial that you share your most intimate thoughts with your partner to maintain the bond between you. When you put in a filter, you are not being completely yourself and you might come across as being insincere. Not only that, you will not be able to have an honest and natural conversation with your partner and they will certainly sense that.
Therefore, instead of filtering what you say, just talk about anything that comes to mind. Trust that your partner will let you know if they do not want to talk about certain topics. This is also a great way to learn more about your partner and what they like. The key to having a great long distance conversation is to feel comfortable and if you are constantly judging yourself, you will always feel uneasy which will reflect in the conversation too.
Find new things to do
Although you should share all the details of your everyday life with your partner, you can make the conversations even more interesting by stepping outside of your routine. It does not have to be something huge or expensive like visiting another continent, although that will certainly make for a very stimulating topic.
Some of the things you can do this week already are to watch a new movie or visit that new cafe that has just open around the corner. You can also hop on a random bus and let it take you to a part of town that you have never been to before. Anything is possible, just take some time to think about it.
Stay on top of current affairs
The news is one of the best resources of information you can have to search for interesting topics to talk about. Its ever-changing nature means that you will never run out of topics and you do not ever have to repeat the same story. Not only that, many news resources are free when you use the internet so you do not even have to pay one single dime to find interesting stories to talk about.
You should know what is your partner interested in and keep yourself on top of the news of their interests. Do they like soccer? Then find out who their favorite players are and read about them. Or are they into politics? Jot down some controversial topics you find in the news and find out what their thoughts are on the topic.
Of course, the best way is to find a field that both of you are into. Perhaps you love traveling so go online, read through the thousands of blogs available and get inspirations for your next trip. The possibilities are endless here and when you keep yourself on top of the news, you will broaden your horizons and be a better conversationalist in general. It is a win-win situation here!
Don’t just talk about yourselves
It is, of course, only expected that both you and your partner will mainly talk about what happened in both your lives. However, you most probably do come into contact with many other people too. Talking about your friends and their lives can also make for an interesting topic.
Because you live so far away from each other, you probably do not know all the friends that your partner hangs out with and vice versa. Therefore, talking about your friends to your partner will make them feel like they are part of your social circle. It is also a good pre-introduction before your partner meets them in the future.
Do not be afraid to get close and intimate
You know how when someone tells you that they have a secret, it will immediately pique your interest? Well, it is the same with your partner. You can instantly turn a boring conversation around by telling your partner that you have a secret to tell them! Then proceed to tell them an intimate detail about yourself.
You can share an embarrassing story about yourself and then ask your partner to share theirs too. You can also talk about that weird hobby you have or something unexpected that you like to do in private when nobody is around to see you. Not only is this a great way to keep the conversation flowing, it also helps you to get to know each other better.
If both of you are comfortable enough, you could also talk about intimate and sexy topics like what is your sexual fantasy. You could also ask about what your partner’s preference is when it comes to having sex and next time you meet up again, you have an inspiration to surprise your partner with!
Honesty is the best policy
We understand that, sometimes, even the best tips could fail. You might be too nervous and unintentionally deviate from doing what you had planned to do. If this is the case, do not be afraid to be just outright honest with your partner. Tell them that your mind is drawing a blank at the moment and you cannot think of anything to say. Or ask them if they have something in mind that they want to talk about. Your partner will see this as a signal for them to pick up the slack and maybe start a new topic instead of thinking that you are distracted or worse, not interested in talking to them.
Remember that having a conversation is a two-way street and at the same time, an awkward silence could only manifest if both of you have nothing to say. While you work on your conversational skill, you should get your partner to work on theirs too. If both of you put in more effort, you will be enjoying easy and interesting conversations effortlessly in no time at all!