If you are someone who feels totally isolated because you can’t seem to find something to say or talk about with other people, you are not alone! You, just like millions of other people, have to struggle to meet new people due to a lack of anything to say. Like many others, at some point you might have already decided to avoid other people, isolating yourself even more.
Everyone goes through moments of silence that can be awkward and very uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I want to share some exciting news that will help you get beyond this stage and allow you to meet new people and make friends.
Why We Run Out Of Things To Say
This Isn’t a Script & This Isn’t Theater:
If you are preparing to go out and meet up with people, do you plan your topics and write them down ahead of time? At some point, you are going to either run out of ideas or you will bring up subjects that are totally irrelevant to the conversation going on around you. Most planned conversations are very stiff and will never work out in a casual conversation. Planned topics will never work because input from others will usually change the conversation altogether and that’s going to be very embarrassing if you can’t follow!
You are talking to someone who has been there! You try to fill the silence with generic topics. You know the topics such as “A nice change in the weather” or “Boy, it feels like spring is on its way”. Not only will they lead to greater silence but are truly boring!
At some point, you will run out of things to say. So then what? Do you just pick up your marbles and go home?
Here Are Several Reasons Why We Run Out Of Conversation:
If you choose to find a deep subject that possibly can be carried for an hour or so, you are in for bad news! When people get together for a social hour or just to hang out, no one wants deep conversations, they want to chat and have fun! You will come across as boring to others and definitely put a damper on everyone’s evening.
In some cases, the pressure is so strong, you end up not having anything to say. You really need to ask yourself how you would view yourself if being subjected to a lengthy, boring conversation. Although getting into a fun mode can be difficult, you need to give it a shot. Ask yourself, how are you going to have a pleasant conversation with someone if you don’t know anything about them? That can be a double-edged sword because you need to communicate to find those with the same interests as yourself.
Learn How To Talk To Others:
No one ever said life is fair. There are people who are highly successful, have more friends than anyone truly needs, and can bring up any subject that others will immediately join in on. These people are never looked at as boring, weird, stupid, or immoral. After all, they are rich and famous! Well, after looking more closely at these people, you realize they were using the same old conversations before they had any friends. Even now, what they might consider friends are merely people who are here today and gone tomorrow.
People who are in the limelight seem to get away with stuff that really wouldn’t work for us. That said, there are a few things these people have learned and stick to:
Just like everyone else, they do have their imperfections and by joking about them or blowing them off, they know the masses will continue to love them. There is not a human being on the planet that is perfect! We all have imperfections but so do all the other people around you! Believe it or not, others love those who are willing to show – yes, I am imperfect!
In most cases, people who try to tell the world they are perfect will usually drive people away from them. No one feels good around those that seem to believe they are perfect because it leaves others feeling insignificant and unimportant.
Get Over Your Insecurities & Put Away The Cue Cards:
If your past efforts have failed over and over, it’s time to develop a new plan. You need to realize that you too are imperfect and discover you can meet up with people and just talk about anything! It doesn’t matter if you come across as weird or irrelevant, you are being you!
Once you decide that you are OK, you will discover so many interesting ways to start conversations that will sound significant, interesting, and people will join in. The bottom line, it’s all about your attitude about you! Once you get over your own insecurities and accept yourself for who you are, the more people will be drawn to your conversations.
Once you focus and discover the simple techniques to master conversations, many other ideas will also pop up in your head. Take notes, either literally or figuratively, and discover what conversations are working for you and what conversations should be buried.
Let’s face it, there are people who are extroverted and those who are introverted. Outgoing people will always have an easier time joining conversations and just fitting right in. The rest of us must learn how to fit into conversations naturally and comfortably. There are many techniques you can use to overcome your lack of social skills and have fun!
Some Easy To Learn Techniques:
When someone is speaking, you must listen to what they are saying. It will help you focus on the conversation; you will win their respect and learn something about them. People like the respect of others, which can lead to long-term relationships.
Do Not Talk Over Others:
It seems this has become commonplace in the news media. There two people with different viewpoints but all they do is talk over each other and the viewing audience has no idea what either one said! Talking over someone is a true sign of total disrespect and saying you don’t care what they have to say. In the end, this will lead to even further isolation!
Finishing Someone’s Sentence For Them:
Check your tongue at the door before falling into this habit. When you jump in and finish someones’ sentence for them, you are taking the conversation away from them and grabbing the reins. This is a very bad approach! Again, the news media is notorious for this action.
Passive listening means you let someone speak and just listen without throwing in your opinion.
Last, Eye Contact:
Many people have a really difficult time grasping how important eye contact is. Whether in a business conversation or social conversation, when you stay in eye contact, you are showing an interest in that person.
Getting over awkwardness in conversations and getting involved will take a little effort on your part. Your insecurities are nothing new and are shared by millions of others. However, you do not have to remain isolated, you can join in on the fun and you don’t need cue cards! Start by realizing you are human and have your faults but you also have great thoughts to share with others! Listening to others will guide you to a conversation that works for both of you!