Ok, hear us out on this one. A lot of women are hesitant to give in to their partners’ pleas for anal sex. Maybe hesitant isn’t the right word, a better word would be downright terrified! But with eighty percent of men asking for anal sex at least once in their lives or during the course of their relationships, you might be wondering what all the fuss is about. Don’t feel like you are weird for being curious either, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to try new things, especially in the bedroom.
Plus, you stand to gain something here. You are either going to love it, or you are going to hate it. We will be honest with you, there is no in-between. However, it can really set off fireworks if you do it right and it works for you, so it is definitely worth a try.
Ready to learn more? Here are some of the benefits and disadvantages of anal sex – use this guide to help you make up your mind for good.
The Pros and Cons of Anal Sex
It can improve the level of intimacy you and your partner share
Having a trusting, healthy relationship is important. In order for both of you to enjoy anal sex, you need to have these variables in place. If you do, chances are, when you give anal sex a try, you will feel closer than ever before.
It feels awesome
When done correctly, anal sex can be mind-blowing – in a good way! You will enjoy a different sensation than what you are used to with regular sex. That is true of both men and women. Men will feel as though their penis is being sucked up like a vacuum, while women will feel a whole new level of stimulation that can’t be compared to anything else. Give it a try!
It will take your relationship to the next level
Feel as though your sex life is stuck in a rut? Give anal sex a try! It is exciting and it is something different – and it is a great way to spice things up.
It is dirty…but in a good way!
If you find yourself bored with your normal sex life, anal sex might be a good way to take things to a new dimension. Being naughty is fun! Anal sex is something the two of you can do secretly together and nobody will ever have to know the difference. It can really enhance your relationship and offer some opportunities for bonding.
It is actually really healthy
Unlike vaginal sex, there is no risk of pregnancy with anal sex so your partner can finish inside you. You can enjoy all the benefits of semen, including its benefits as a stress reliever, anti-depressant, sleep enhancer, energy booster, and libido-booster too!
Sometimes, it does hurt
Despite what other people might tell you, anal sex does sometimes hurt – there is no way around it. However, it is not quite like the pain you felt the first time you had regular sex since a rectum isn’t designed to stretch like a vagina is. Anal sex can hurt, so make sure your partner is gentle – especially the first time!
It can increase your risk of infection
You need to be careful about when and how you have anal sex, as you can not only transmit your standard sexually transmitted diseases but also E.coli. The HPV virus can also lead to anal cancer. Make sure you use a condom to keep everyone safe.
It is messy
Yup, it is not all neat and tidy when it comes to anal sex! As a woman, you probably enjoy the feeling of being clean and nice smelling. There is not a lot that is delicate or pretty about anal sex, even if you shower beforehand.
How to Have Anal Sex – Safely
Keep things clean and tidy
There is no gentle way to say this – you need to poop before you have anal sex. If you do not, the experience is going to be not only uncomfortable but also a little bit gross.
Make sure you are having regular bowel movements before engaging in any kind of butt play. Eating a diet high in fiber can help get things moving.
Otherwise, you also need to make sure you shower before you have sex. Not only will it be a kind gesture to your partner, but it will also make you feel more comfortable when things start getting hot and heavy.
Do not forget the lube
Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. Therefore, you are going to need some help to get things stimulated down there. The more lube you use during anal sex, the better it is going to feel. Make sure your partner takes the time to get you warmed up, but also make sure that there is an ample amount of lube involved.
You can use either water- or silicone-based lube for your butt play, but remember that silicone lube will last longer. After all, the skin does not absorb silicone like it does water. However, silicone lubricants are not meant to be used with any kind of toys or condoms, so keep this in mind as you are making your decision.
Make sure you are warmed up
For most women, it is impossible to go from zero to 100% turned on in a matter of seconds. You need some time to get into the moment. That is also true of most men, too. Give yourself plenty of time to get warmed up and to get the juices flowing. You can try having your partner finger your anus or even use a butt plug to get things going.
Always use protection
We can’t stress this enough – always, always, always use protection! A lot of people think that you can’t get pregnant from anal sex alone, and while that is true, there are lots of other risks to be aware of. First, the risk of infection with anal sex is higher than it is with vaginal sex, as the process opens up tiny tears that can expose you to new bacteria and viruses.
Plus, there are a few other benefits of wearing a condom in particular. Not only will a condom make things a little bit smoother during the process of anal sex, but it will also make clean-up easier afterwards too. Just remember to switch out condoms if you change from anal to vaginal sex.
Pick the right position
Believe it or not, not all positions are made alike when it comes to anal sex. Especially when you are trying anal sex for the first time, you are going to want to go with whatever is the most comfortable. Things will only go smoothly if you and your partner communicate about what position feels best, and about what makes you feel the most comfortable. Make sure you find the position that is right for you and the situation.
Take things slow
The first time you try anal sex is definitely not a good time to go hard, rough, and fast. You want to keep things nice and slow. One of the easiest ways to do this is to make sure that your partner is taking his time.
After all, your body’s natural instinct is not going to be to want to take things into the anus – that goes against human nature! Therefore, you might find yourself tightening up even if you are 100% in the mood. Instead, make sure your partner approaches slowly and make sure other erogenous zones are fully stimulated, which will keep your body fully relaxed.
Keep the lines of communication open
As with any aspect of your relationship, the most important thing to remember is that you need to keep the lines of communication open. Whether you are the one who wants to try anal sex or your partner, it is totally okay to share your fantasies. That does not necessarily mean that you have to bring them to life if one of you isn’t comfortable doing so, but often, sharing your fantasies with your partner is a great way to spice things up.
Talk before, during, and after sex. Maybe try some dirty talk right before you two do the deed to see how it turns your partner on. And on the flip side, don’t be afraid to slow things down. If you are not comfortable, make sure you articulate that to your partner so that both of you can have a pleasurable experience that you will look back fondly upon.
Did you check all of these items off your to-do list? Good! Now light some candles, pour the wine, and start up some foreplay. It is time to give this bucket list item a try! We do not guarantee that you will love it, but it is definitely worth a try.