Long distance relationships require a lot of effort to maintain and are perhaps the hardest type of relationship to keep. With temptations all around us on top of geographical limitations, it can be quite a challenge for just about anyone to succeed in keeping a long distance relationship alive. It’s only human nature to want to feel physical affection and close to the one you love. As time goes by, couples may begin to feel detached and gradually grow apart from each other while going through emotional roller coaster rides when they do meet. The relationship will start to unravel at the seams and the people involved could even fall out of love with each other. How can you be sure that a relationship can’t be saved and instead, should be ended?
How to accurately assess if it’s time to end a long-distance relationship
1. If your world revolves around each other
While it’s true that you need to constantly keep in touch with your partner to maintain a long-distance relationship, it’s unhealthy to spend all your time doing that. Should you find yourself losing your friends and not spending time with your family because of your long distance relationship, it might be better for you to end it. An unhealthy relationship is like a cancer cell that will fester and take over your entire life, in a bad way. The only way to stop that is to prioritize yourself and remove the cancer immediately.
2. If your routines begin to change
Compromising is the key to a successful relationship, especially a long distance one. In case you notice that your partner suddenly makes a lot of excuses for not making themselves available to your routine Skype calls for reasons that aren’t clear to you, it’s likely that he or she is getting bored of the relationship or might even be seeing someone else. On the other hand, if you find yourself thinking up excuses to not make time for your partner, it’s probably time for you to move on.
3. If communication dwindles
When your partner begins to communicate less, it’s likely that they are distancing themselves from the relationship. Next to trust, communication is crucial for a long distance relationship to work. Thanks to mobile and internet technologies, talking to someone even if they are on the other side of the globe is easy and cheap (sometimes even free). So if your partner is getting online to talk to you less often, it could be an indication that they are no longer interested in keeping the relationship alive.
4. If the excitement of seeing each other has disappeared
One of the best things about being in a long distance relationship is the anticipation of finally meeting each other again physically. Couples in a long distance relationship tend to always talk about the next time they will meet and it’s obvious how much they are looking forward to it. If you no longer feel excited about the next visit, this could mean that your relationship is not working anymore.
5. If the relationship is causing you stress
The biggest reason why people willingly go into a long distance relationship is because they believe that their partner will make them happy. However, if you start to feel that your relationship is a burden and making time to talk to your partner is a chore, you should start assessing if you still want to be in that relationship. You must remember that your relationship should make you happy, not add extra stress to your life.
How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship Breakup
If you have come to the conclusion that it is indeed time to break up but you’re feeling scared or anxious, that’s only normal. Ending a relationship with someone will always bring about short-term pain but keep in mind that it will be for the best for both of you in the long run. Here are some ways to help you get over the breakup and survive it:
1. Refrain from using the Internet
Because a significant part of your communication with your ex was over the internet like social media, messengers, emails etc., most of your memories with them are stored on the internet. By temporarily banning yourself from the internet, you won’t be reminiscing about the relationship nor spending your time quietly stalking your ex online. Instead, you will be concentrating on getting better.
2. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up
You might think that it’s better to just act like nothing has happened on the outside while your heart is broken on the inside. However, this can be very unhealthy and may even lead to a mental breakdown. You should scream or cry your heart out without holding back, releasing all your pent-up emotions. Once you’ve let it all out, you will feel stronger and see things more clearly without being clouded by your emotions.
3. Re-evaluate the relationship for some lessons learned
Now it’s time to take a look back, but in an analytical way without being emotional or nostalgic. Make a list of what you liked about the relationship and about your ex. This could be very difficult but you must push through it. Next, make another list of what you didn’t like about the relationship and your ex. Then look at both lists and re-examine what had gone wrong then use this as a reference point to become better in your next relationship.
4. Give your room a makeover
There are probably still some remnants of your ex lingering in your room like the gifts they gave you or some of their belongings. Now that you’ve ended the long distance relationship, it’s time for you to start afresh. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex in your room. You can give them away, throw them in the garbage, or return them to your ex by sending them a parcel. Furthermore, you can rearrange some furniture to completely change how your room looks which is a great start to a new beginning.
5. Prioritize yourself
More often than not, when a relationship falls apart, you might give up on taking care of yourself and your self-confidence might plummet. You must make sure that you stay healthy like getting enough sleep, exercise, and eat healthily. You might not feel like doing them and prefer to stay in bed all day but you must drag yourself out of bed every single day. A healthy body is a gateway to a healthy mind so make sure you take good care of yourself.
6. Surround yourself with people who love you
One of the worst things you can do now is to be on your own because you will easily slip into a negative state of mind. Be around your friends and family during this particularly difficult time and they will supply the positive vibes that you need to get back on your feet. Not only that, people who care about you are often great observers and they will be able to tell you things that you need to hear, even if it may be painful to you, so you don’t repeat your mistakes in the future.
7. Get on the path to recovery
When you’re in a serious relationship, you often give a part of you to your partner. Therefore, after a breakup, it could feel like a part of you is missing. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds, and so you will eventually feel whole again. To facilitate your path to recovery, you can take up a course to learn something new, pick up an old hobby, go out with friends, make new friends, or embark on a trip. Try to do anything that will take your mind off the breakup and make yourself feel better. Who knows, you might even discover a whole new side of you that you’ve never seen before!