There are so many reasons you might want a guy to pursue you. To be fair, most people only want this after they have broken up with a loved one, but this feeling can happen for a number of reasons. Perhaps you feel as though your man does not love you anymore, or you are concerned he has found another woman. Or perhaps he just lacks commitment.
- Discover more: Tell Tale Signs He Wants to Commit but Is Too Scared
Whatever the reason, there is no better way to show your man what he lost than by getting him to chase you again. Many women who want a man to chase them were previously hurt in past relationships. They might not want to repeat the same patterns. There might even be a little bit of a desire for revenge sprinkled in – after all, this is the perfect way to turn around and reject a man who originally did not want to be with you.
Regardless of what your reasons are for wanting a man to chase you, there is so much that you can do to reignite the power of the chase. To do this, you need to act as prey and not as a hunter. The man needs to make a solid effort to seduce you or to make up with you and you shouldn’t always be the one running after him.
So how do you do this? By following these few simple tips.
How To Make Him Chase You Again
Let him breathe
This is the most logical and easiest thing to do once you have stopped pursuing him. Show him that you are not always going to be available and you have a life that extends beyond what he has to offer.
So do just that. Back off. If he believes that your social calendar is filled to the brim and that you have a life of your own, he is more likely to try to win you back. Why? Simple human nature. We are always desiring that which we cannot have, or something that we cannot have but others have.
Play it cool, because as they say, absence only makes the heart grow fonder. This will encourage him to chase you – and all you need to do is quite literally nothing!
Master the mind games
Men are really good at psychological games and this is the reason why women have to work hard to keep their cool. In most cases, men want their efforts to be recognized and be rewarded. In this case, you are the reward, and you need to make it obvious to him.
Be hot and cold. This works well if you play by the rules. Keep a distance so that your man realizes how much of a reward you are, but do not stay so far away that he cools off entirely. Do not contact him first but instead, let him go after you. Sprinkle your behavior with subtle signs that you are still interested in him, and then sit back and wait. By giving him subtle signs that you are still interested in him, you can assume that he is still interested, too, and you can also interpret his next step.
If you are dealing with an ex, a really efficient way of going about this is to give him a “cool shower” when you next see him. He probably thinks you will still be wallowing in a pit of despair, and will likely expect you to be weak and sad when you see him.
Do not let this happen. Instead, be affectionate, without too much over-the-top kissing and hugging. At the same time, be quiet and do not ask him too many questions while responding to his questions in a succinct yet polite manner. Leave him guessing what your true intentions are for this will ignite his interest in pursuing you again.
He should want you
You need to work hard to make him want you. How do you do that? Make yourself more mysterious. Obviously, he already knows you, so there might not be a ton that he does not already know.
However, you can still work to surround yourself with mystique. All you need to do is start by telling him an interesting story the next time you are with him. Then, leave him hanging. Do not finish the story. At a bare minimum, you should make him guess how the story ends. When you do this on a consistent basis, he is likely to see you as a lot less predictable and a lot more stimulating.
Indicate that you are over him
Life goes on. We all know this and to be fair, it has to be this way. You may not have moved on since you two broke up, but he does not have to know that. If you are suffering or are in pain, then suffer in silence or only let it out to your most trusted friends. Do not let anyone else see it. When you are in public, and particularly when you are with your ex-boyfriend, show that you enjoy life, even if you have to do this forcefully. You do not have to chase other men or jump into new relationships, but you should return to your ordinary way of life – at least on the surface.
Try to reignite relationships with old friends. Accept casual invitations for dates or go out to nightclubs or parties. Smile and be cheerful and friendly showing everyone, including him, that you are doing just fine. The pain won’t last forever and hanging out with your male friends or chatting with another guy can help awaken a feeling of jealousy in your ex. He will realize that he lost you and that you are not going to wait around for him forever. Done correctly, this technique will cause your man to chase you like he never has before.
There is not a single person on this planet that likes to be around a person who is constantly complaining, whining, criticizing, or opposing whatever it is the other person has to say or do. Be more tolerant of others’ views, but particularly of the views of your ex. For example, if the two of you parted ways because he is a Republican and you do not necessarily agree with his political opinions, try to calmly show him that Democrats have a point. You do not have to argue and shout about this. Instead, if he says something political, listen to his views with an open mind. Whenever possible, agree with what he is trying to say while getting your own point of view across in a calm manner.
Upgrade your appearance
Most men can be appealed to visually and this is one of the easiest ways to make him pursue you again. To be honest, physical appearances are usually the first thing we notice about someone too. It draws and holds our attention, and when a man finds you attractive, he will work hard to show you that he wants you.
Give a man a good reason to chase you again by showing him what he missed (or could miss if he refused to give you another chance). Look stunning at all times, but especially when there is a good chance you will run into him. There is strong research to suggest that we find others more attractive when we haven’t seen them in quite some time. If you think you might run into him or meet up with him after a while, pay extra attention to your appearance. Get in shape, visit a hair salon, or get a manicure. You won’t only feel good, you’ll look good, too. Plus, there is a good chance that you will reignite his feelings for you in the process.
Upgrade your wardrobe
Do not just stop at your looks, change your clothes, too. At the very least, wear clothes that he has not seen you in. Again, men are visual creatures so you need to show him that you are taking care of yourself even though he is not in your life anymore. Consider enhancing your hair color, buy new shoes, or even get a new piercing. Take the time to try out the things you have always wanted to, but did not do when he was in your life. Show him that you are a changed person – a better, upgraded version without him.
Remember not to be trashy, though. Trash only attracts more trash, so if you dress in a slutty (not sexy) manner, he will treat you as such. Leave the details of your body to the imagination and you do not have to show off everything at once. Remember, you are trying to seduce him – not look like a pornstar.
Avoid showing weaknesses
When people are desperate, particularly when you are just getting out of a relationship, you might suffer. Breakups are hard, especially if you two were together for a long time. It is normal to suffer, but this period should be brief. You need to pull yourself back up and return to normal. Do not call and pester your ex if you are hoping for a reconciliation and most importantly, do not chase him. Let him breathe and use reverse psychology to get what you want.
At the very least, try to go for a minimum of 30 days without contact. This is a steadfast rule that you should follow. If he does not contact you within a month, there might not be any chance for your relationship reigniting.
However, if he does contact you, this is your chance. Play it cool, and do not cry or beg to get back together. He does not need to know that you are desperate. When he calls, try to act like an old friend. Be brief but still polite and end your conversation after just a few minutes. This will make him more curious about you and he will likely pick up the phone and call you again very soon.
The next time he calls, you can give him a few more minutes of your time. However, you should not try to be intimidating or put any pressure on him. Interrupt the conversation and hang up after just a few minutes and in a short period of time, he will probably start chasing you again.
Remind him of you in subtle ways
In today’s digital age, there is a small chance that your man will not see all of your posts. If you have mutual friends, there is a good likelihood that the two of you will wind up at the same party again at some point. When you see him, do not approach him or pretend to ignore him. Make eye contact, smile to acknowledge him and then walk away. This can be your biggest aid in getting him to chase you again. Show your confidence and make sure that he can see your new style, lifestyle, or group of friends after the two of you break up.
There is probably a high chance that he misses you, or is at least wondering how you are handling the breakup. Commit to working on yourself and showing him how confident you are. He will probably feel regret and want to get in touch with you again – or want to reignite the relationship all over again.
Be interested in what interests him
It may not have worked the first time around because you two had vastly different interests. Do not make this mistake again. Remember that men like to hang out with women who have similar tastes and interests. Try to become interested in his interests, or at the very least, do not roll your eyes and make your disapproval obvious when he is talking about his interests. Be kind and it will be rewarded with what you truly desire – him showing interest in you.
Do not be free at all times
Remember that the people who are not easy to get are those that attract us the most. Use this to your advantage. If he has to work harder to get you, he will chase you more. When you break up, do not show your ex that you still have any interest in him. He won’t show any interest in chasing you if you indicate that you still have feelings for him.
On the other side, if he realizes that you are over him and back on the market again, then he can’t have you whenever he wants. Do not answer your phone every time he calls and nor respond to all of his messages. A good rule of thumb is to respond to him every third time he contacts you or to wait two days to text back. Do not react every time he likes a photo on social media and don’t play into his games.
Remember that you two are no longer together and that you have a life beyond your failed relationship. When you begin to move away from him, he will begin to think that you are better than him. His ego will be stroked when he gets to chase you again.
Mind his ego
On that note, keep in mind that men like to feel as though they are the ones in charge. They like to take care of their women and you need to make him feel as though he is in charge. This does not mean that you need to abide by every whim he has. On the flip side, you just need to make him believe that all of your ideas are actually his. Then, let him go along with that. Do not try to exercise control over him because most men’s egos can’t handle that. This is the opposite of what you should do if you want him to chase you again.
Avoid discussing your relationship with others
No matter how much you are suffering, try not to show it – not to your mutual friends and especially not to your ex. If you go around whining constantly that you are sad, you won’t accomplish anything. At the very best, you may get a bit of compassion or some mild, comforting words but nothing substantial.
Do the opposite. Show to everybody that you are confident and tough, even though you two have broken up. If you have to, pretend that you are fine. If you still keep in contact with mutual friends, do not avoid them. They may ask you to go out and after all, the role of your friends is to comfort you.
Show them that there is no reason for their compassion. Be dignified, happy, and upbeat, you can talk about anything, but avoid talking about your ex. This will show to your friends – and by extension, your ex – that you have moved on. Convince them and appear to be doing just fine.
Patience is key when you are trying to get a man to chase you again. All of these techniques may not give you instant results or gratification. And newsflash, nothing in life that’s worth waiting for provides instant gratification. This only happens in movies. The truth is that it will take time for your man to notice any changes in you. It could take days, weeks, or, even more realistically, months. If you want him, be patient. He will chase you once again!
Incorporate the tricks of reverse psychology
Reverse psychology is one of the most effective ways that you can trick others into doing whatever you want. To do this, you need to tell them the opposite of what you actually want. This will help you influence the opinions of your ex, inspiring him to chase you once again.
Here is an example: the two of you meet up for the first time after the split, and, as always, your relationship is an unavoidable topic. You can go about this in a couple of ways. Maybe he says, “perhaps we should be friends.” You might answer, “Yes, I think it is the best option.” This might not be what you actually want, but you can be tactical about this. Tell him that you think it is best that the two of you not speak for a while.
He will likely respect this wish, but probably not for long. He will likely be the first person to initiate contact the next time around. Continuing with reverse psychology will intrigue him and he will be drawn to you once more.
Be a little bit bitchy
To make him chase you again, you might have to play hard to get. Sometimes, this means being downright mean. At times, guys like a woman who is a little bit bitchy but just do not go overboard with it. When you two were together, he may have gotten used to your being kind-hearted and innocent. Well, not anymore because he obviously did not appreciate that.
Now, you should try to ignore your ex in a subtle manner. If he approaches you and tries to start a conversation, acknowledge his presence but also ignore him. When he addresses you, look away, check your phone, or initiate contact with others. Do the opposite of what you would try to do if you were attempting to seduce someone. Leave him and start talking to someone else, even. You need to show this man that he is not the center of your world. If you can prove to him that you are not the good, sweet girl that he left, he may have a desire to be with you again and will begin to chase you relentlessly.
Do you really want him back?
When you are pursuing your man, or rather, once you get him to pursue you again, it is important to ask yourself what your actual motives are. Do you actually want him back? Or are you simply angry and trying to enact some revenge? If you can figure out whether you want him to chase you forever, or whether you simply want to get back at him, these tricks will become more useful to you.
Whatever the reason was for you two breaking up, remember that true love will always win. Even if you are only after a little bit of revenge, these tips can be helpful and a little bit of meaningless chasing won’t hurt anyone. However, remember that vanity can be a big problem. You should not take revenge too hard. After all, at one point, you cared for your partner and you do not want him to suffer the way you did. A little bit of payback is fine, but remember, karma is real, and what goes around will come back around in the end.