It has always been said that when a guy and a girl first start getting to know each other in a romantic relationship, the guy is the predator and the girl is the prey. He is expected to chase her and she is supposed to play hard to get for a while just to prove to him that she is worth the chase. Some men say they actually enjoy the chase.
Let’s turn the tables around for a second. Why is it assumed that guys don’t want to be chased? Well, news flash – they do! Maybe not as much as women but hey, it certainly feels good to be wanted so guys would enjoy a bit of a chase as well.
Many men are terrified of doing anything that will make the girl in their life feel the need to chase them. They think it will make her give up on him, assume he is not interested and move on. However, this couldn’t be further away from the truth!
How To Make A Girlfriend Chase You
Here are some tips to get her to chase you like you never thought possible.
Do not come off as desperate
Women can smell desperation from a mile away – and quite frankly it is not a pleasant smell. There is something extremely unattractive about a desperate man. If you are dealing with this feeling, do whatever you have to do to hide it.
Be confident and secure even when you are feeling completely different. Let her be the one to call you from time to time. Even if you like her, do not give her the impression that you would bend over backwards to go on another date with her. Be the one to cancel a date at the last minute because something came up.
Give her the impression that you are available but she will have to put in a little work to secure you completely.
Make her laugh
It is cliché for a girl to say that her ideal man has a sense of humor – but it is very true. A guy who can make a girl laugh is definitely more attractive. The problem is that some guys seem to try too hard and end up coming off as weirdly low in confidence. Find a balance between humor and confidence. She does not have to be laughing the entire evening. A few laughs sprinkled here and there, along with a few funny real-life experiences will work just fine.
Try friend zoning her
If you have been friend zoned before, you know it is not a pleasant place to be. It can be a painful situation for the rejected party and has the potential to damage a person’s esteem. Therefore, you should be very careful with this technique.
That said, pretending to friend zone her could work to make her chase you a little bit. Even if you are sure she likes you, tell her something to the effect that you are not sure if you should be more than just good friends. Ouch! Yes, that might sting but if she really likes you, she will put on her running shoes and chase you until you are sure you want to be more than friends.
Befriend her friends
This is especially important with younger women because their friends mean the world to them and the opinions of their friends matter a great deal. Even if she really likes you, she will struggle if her friends think you are a dork. If you want your girlfriend to chase you, make an effort – a huge effort if you have to – to get her group of friends to like you. If she likes you, she will like you more when she knows that her friends like you too. The older we get, the more secure we get in our own decisions. This girlfriends ‘approval’ may not matter as much in mature relationships but if her friends like you, it is still a big plus.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not in any way implying that you are not smart. For the purposes of getting your girlfriend to chase you, you will need to get smart on something or other. Here is how the technique works: from general conversation, you should be able to identify a topic which she has more than just surface interest in. It could be her hobby or something she is studying for at current.
Let’s assume for example that your girlfriend is a psychology major. You should take some time to do a little reading on something related to her area of interest. The next time you go out, randomly weave ‘the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Freud’ into the conversation… and BAM! She is hooked.
Quite honestly, no psychology major could get through a single semester without the mention of Sigmund Freud. Chances are that her professor has mentioned psychoanalytic theories at some point. What you have done is to make her believe you are smart and widely read. Once you have intrigued a girl intellectually, her attraction to you is at a whole new level.
Dare to disagree
Disagree? But won’t disagreeing with her upset her and send her running? No, it won’t. First, we are not saying that you should disagree with every last thing she says. It is about feeling free to express an opinion different from hers.
Also, remember that it is smart, confident women who don’t mind it when other people disagree with them. In fact, they like it. It challenges them and makes them see perspectives they did not have before – they will appreciate that.
If a girl is upset by you having a different opinion from hers, that is a red flag. She is probably an insecure individual with low self-esteem. These traits usually come with many other relationship killers. If you are able to have a fun and cordial debate to support your respective opinions, she will enjoy spending time with you. That inevitably translates to her chasing you a little bit more.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. It really does, so allow her heart to grow fond of you. Making yourself scarce makes her want to chase you even more.
It is cute to call her at least three times a day just to know how her day is going, but save that for later in the relationship. For now, try not to call her all the time.
Have limited time
When you and your girlfriend are planning to meet for lunch or a coffee, make it clear that you are happy to meet but have limited time. If you are planning to have a coffee after work, tell her you only have an hour and a half to spare because you have other commitments. When you do meet, stick to the said time frame and leave when the time is up. (More: The 30 Most Romantic And Cute Ways To Ask For A Date)
If you want to go all out on your mission to get your girlfriend to chase you, try leaving abruptly once or twice. When you go out for drinks one evening, make something up so that you have to cut the evening short and leave immediately. It could be a call from work to attend to something urgent. Or it could be that a close friend who needs your help urgently.
A girl will not chase you if you give her the impression that your world revolves around her. This tip makes it clear that there is a lot going on in your life besides her and that she is just a part of it, not all of it. The rules of supply and demand apply in economics – and relationships as well.
Make your time special
Even as you find ways to make yourself scarce, make sure that when you do spend time together, she has a great time. When you are available to spend an entire evening with her, make it an evening to remember.
- Discover more: Late Night Date Ideas You Should Try Out
Find out what kind of food she likes and take her to a nice restaurant which serves it. If she is the dancing type take her dancing. If she is artsy, take her to an art show. Try not to keep checking your phone when you are out with her. Let her know that you are all hers for the evening and you will not be picking calls unless there is some kind of emergency elsewhere.
Most guys have no idea how and when to touch a woman. We are not just talking about sexual, intimate kind of touching. Even basic touching like hand-holding can mean a lot to a girl. Learning how to do it right can be all you need to get a girl feverishly attracted to you.
Assuming that you know what kind of touch is definitely inappropriate, here are a few which are appropriate. If you have been seeing each other for a while, it is gentlemanly to gently place your hand around her waist, especially if you are ushering her into a restaurant or towards a table at the restaurant. Depending on how conservative she is, you can hold her hand as you walk out to the parking lot after dinner. There are many forms of appropriate touch. The point is to practice enough restraint so that you do not cross the line.
Let her see a go-getter
A hard-working, self-motivated man is always attractive to a woman. She subconsciously sees him as a suitable potential husband and father. Let your girlfriend in on a few projects you are working on and do not be too modest to talk about your achievements. Not to say that you should be bragging about them all the time – it is about letting her see the warrior in you.
Yes, difficult questions are not such a bad thing. If you really want your girlfriend to chase you, make it clear that you are not the kind of guy who shies away from awkward topics or situations.
- Ask difficult questions – ask her questions other guys never had the guts to ask. Like why did you and your ex-boyfriend break up? Why is she with you? What is it about you that she does not see in other men? Better still, ask her why she feels you should be with her and not another girl.
- Be willing to answer these and other difficult questions.
Showing her that you are confident enough to ask and answer the tough questions makes you more attractive and desirable. The disclaimer here is to be careful not to pry too much. It is still important to respect her privacy.
Hold your cards close to your chest
You have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now. Even if you like her and you know she likes you, do not let out all there is to know about you. Let her learn a little at a time. Maintain a sense of mystery so that she is always wondering about something. There is something attractive about a man who is a bit mysterious. It will keep her chasing you so that she can find out a little more.
Listen more than talk
It is true that women talk more than men. It is not just a social myth – researchers have proven that women talk about 20,000 words a day. That is 13,000 more than the average man! A girl will enjoy her time with you if she is given a chance to talk and chatter away.
Alright, let’s not forget that some women really can overdo it and leave your ears exhausted. We are assuming that your girlfriend is an average talking woman. Lending a listening ear will make her feel closer to you. When she does, she will chase you so that she can feel more of that closeness.
There are many ways to get your girlfriend to chase you. They all boil down to one thing. You have to get into her brain. You need to understand what it is that makes certain guys more attractive to women. Some of these are conscious and others are subconscious. She may not even realize exactly what it is that draws her to you but you do. Once you understand her brain, your options are limitless in terms of techniques. These are just a few ideas. Go ahead and try some of them – you will be amazed at the results!