If you’re new to relationships, you might be worried that your kissing skills aren’t quite up to par. However, knowing how to kiss is so important because it not only can convince a guy that you are the right one for him, but it can also keep him locked into the relationship. After all, knowing how to kiss well and sensually is a precursor to an excellent sex life! Sadly, many people stop kissing (or stop kissing well) once they start having sex. That’s not good!
If either of those sounds like you, it is time to get back to the basics. Here’s how to kiss someone (with plenty of passion!) so that you can turn him on and make him want you even more.
How to Kiss a Boy
Pay attention to your breath
Here’s an easy tip – you are going to want to make sure that your breath is not disgusting! The Oral Health Foundation has conducted studies and found that bad breath is such a major turnoff that if people dated someone that had it, they would not ask for a second date!
Some people have medical problems that make bad breath a recurring issue. In that case, there might not be a lot that you can do. However, if that does not apply to you, you really need to pay attention to your oral hygiene!
Brush and floss your teeth on a regular basis, with any kind of toothbrush. Brush for at least two minutes and for extra insurance, rinse with fluoride after you brush. Try not to eat garlic or anything else that is stinky before your date because that is the easiest way to turn someone off from wanting to kiss you in the first place!
Mentally and physically prepare yourself ahead of time
You are going to want to get your head in the game before you start kissing, and you are also going to want to do another type of prep work. You need to make sure that you look and feel totally kissable!
For starters, put on a nice lip balm. You do not want to have chapped, unappealing-looking lips when you go in for that kiss. Even guys can wear lip balm, so there really is no excuse not to.
Some people think that lipstick or lipgloss is a better choice, but the reality is that a lot of men do not like this. Some lipstick choices do not taste great, and while lipstick or lipgloss can make your lips look more attractive, they are going to leave a mess as they will leave behind unsightly marks all over your man. It will leave smudges on your own mouth, too! That is definitely not attractive, so steer clear if you can.
Try not to be predictable
You do not want to kiss like a robot or automaton, do you? So, do not stick to the same effort level, speed, or technique each and every time. Now, this can be challenging if you are not quite sure what you are doing. But rather than sticking to the same thing time and time again, why not shake things up a bit?
Stop going at the same speed. Stop using the same effort level. Maybe pull away for a second or bite his lip. You might even try kissing his neck, or moving your head from one direction to another when you are halfway through.
- Discover more: The Most Unforgettable Neck Kiss
Being unpredictable is sexy and it can really spice up your kissing. Now, do not think that you need to get super crazy the first time you kiss someone. It is okay to make the first kiss a little bit shorter and perhaps even more on the exploratory side. You are still getting to know each other and your own unique kissing styles, and that is perfectly fine.
But later, make sure you mix it up!
Make your intention clear
If you want, you can be super direct and ask your man if he wants to kiss you. You can also try the bold tactic of simply lunging at him to kiss him. But that is not always the best tactic, as it can lead to a lot of embarrassment if the two of you are not exactly on the same page. Instead, you might want to subtly let him know what is on your mind without being too direct if you are not 100% certain of his feelings about you.
As you are talking to him, stop focusing on his eyes. Instead, direct your gaze to his lips. You do not need to awkwardly stare at his mouth – that can be quite weird. Instead, simply glance at his lips every now and then, even if it is just for a few seconds in mid-conversation. Although he might not notice you doing this at first, after a few minutes, he is apt to realize exactly what is going on and will, hopefully, show some signs of his own intentions.
If you combine this with slowing the speed of your talking at and leaning in closer, you can practically be guaranteed that he is going to figure out what you are doing. And if he wants to kiss you, trust us – soon, he will start to lean in and will slow his speed of conversation, too. He might even glance at your lips! If he starts doing these things, guess what? He probably wanted to kiss you just as badly as you wanted to kiss him!
Kissing should not be a race – you do not need to rush through things. Even if the two of you start getting hot and heavy, it is okay to slow that kiss right down to a snail’s pace. This can be tough, especially if you are in the throes of passion. After all, a lot of tension has built up between the two of you over time and it can be tough to reign things in. This is especially true if it is your first kiss! However, you have got to take your time because you really want to be able to enjoy things.
If you back off from that intense, passionate kiss and take things slowly, it is going to hold his interest for longer, even after the kiss has ended. You might feel odd wondering about how you can keep him hooked after that first kiss, but trust us, you are going to want to slow down and savor this kiss because it can really make a difference later on.
Let him take control
It can be tough to let the man take the reins if you are used to being a strong, independent woman. We get it! You are a grown adult and you are not afraid of making the first (or second, or third) move. And the guy might be totally into letting you take charge.
However, you likely won’t be able to determine that if it is only your first kiss. While some guys are more traditional and prefer to make the first move themselves, there are others that will go so far as to feeling that their masculinity is being threatened! Therefore, it might not be wise to take all the initiative on the first go – even if you are a strong feminist. Unless you absolutely have to be in control, why not let him take the lead? You might have to wait a little bit longer to finally get that kiss, but nobody ever said that was a bad thing.
Do not settle on just the lips
You do not have to kiss him only on the lips – and no, we do not mean there! There are plenty of ways you can have a great kiss that does not necessarily have to do with the lips. You can even kiss him on the neck or on the ear, which will help build up intimacy as you start to explore each other and what you are into.
Not only will this likely turn him on, but it will show him that you are totally cool with spicing things up in the bedroom. It can drive him absolutely insane! The only places that you should probably steer clear of are the forehead or the cheeks – these are decidedly non-intimate areas and you might confuse him if you go in for a forehead peck halfway through a makeout session.
Move your head
You do not need to be rolling and shifting your head all over the place while you are kissing, but you can definitely spice things up by moving your head around a bit while you are kissing. You do not have to focus on only one side of his face, after all. Instead, why not tilt your head to the side or really start enjoying yourself by enjoying the other side of his face? Change things up a bit and move your head so that it is positioned to the other side instead.
Be in the moment
It is easy to get wrapped up in your own thoughts during that first kiss, but try to ignore the little voice inside your head that is telling you that you are doing everything wrong. You might be wondering if you are doing it right, if you are coming off as slutty, if you are using too much tongue – or worse, you might be thinking about things that have nothing to do with the makeout session!
Try not to let yourself get wrapped up in other thoughts. Not only will it distract you from truly enjoying the moment, but it is going to prevent you from giving your best performance, too. Try to be in the moment and not worry about anything else.
Do not be afraid to use some teeth
You will want to do this with some good judgment, of course, but keep in mind that you can also use your teeth to get things hot and heavy! Obviously, you are going to need your lips for a basic kissing session, but once you get more advanced, you can get other parts of your mouth involved too. When you use your teeth, that’s not to say that you should bite as hard as you possibly can. Your goal here is not to take a chunk out of the guy!
Instead, try gently nibbling on his lips. You can run your teeth over his lips or you can gently bite down on his lips. The key here is to go easy because nobody wants to have a bleeding mouth while they are trying to kiss someone. But when done correctly, a little bit of teeth action can be just what the kiss doctor ordered! If you are not sure about how strong you should bite, you can practice on yourself first. Try nibbling gently on the side of your own finger and you will be able to gauge the right strength to use.
Hone your technique
There are all kinds of ways you can kiss someone and it may take some time before you master the technique that works best for you. Just try not to get overwhelmed! In order to truly master your own individual kissing style and technique, you are going to have to spend some time practicing them – you are not going to get them right the first time.
And trust us, it is going to be a little bit awkward the first few times you kiss someone! But keep in mind that this is totally natural and happens for everyone. Just try to keep practicing and over time, it will be second nature to you.
To Sum Things Up
Now that you know everything there is to know about being a great kisser, here’s a quick summary:
- First, do not be afraid to let him take the initiative.
- Do not rush through that kiss, and
- Pay attention to your breath and your appearance! Sure, looks are not everything, but in order to make the most of that first kiss, you are going to want to look your absolute best.
- Do not over-analyze the kiss. Let yourself be in the moment, and with a little bit of luck, you will be enjoying a second kiss in no time.
Now keep in mind, not all kisses are going to be great. You are going to kiss guys that like to drool all over you. You are going to kiss guys that use too much tongue – and guys that never, ever use tongue.
But then one day, you are going to kiss a guy that is absolutely perfect for you. You are going to find that perfect kisser and likely, he is going to be the one that you end up kissing for the rest of your life. So just be patient and remember, with a little bit of practice, you will be the best possible kisser you can be!