Yikes – the friend zone! This is the place you might be in when your crush starts talking about how much they like that person in math class. It is the place where your crush begins to belch loudly in front of you and treat you like you are just another one of the guys.
Are you in the much-dreaded friend zone or do you even know how to tell that you are there? If not, continue reading. Hopefully, it will either set your mind at ease or let you know exactly what you need to do to get yourself out of the friend zone altogether.
Friend zone signs
1. Your crush tells you about the people they are dating
Does the person you are interested in tell you repeatedly about the other person they are dating? If so, you are being friend-zoned. While this might be your crush’s way of gauging your interest and to see if you would get jealous, there are several ways you can rule this out. Are they telling you about all of their annoyances or obnoxious quirks? Try to read these signs carefully, as it will give you a good idea of where you stand.
2. You have met the family
It is customary to let someone you are close to meet your family. Have you ever met your crush’s family? If you have, since it is not weird to bring a friend home, think carefully about how your crush introduces you to his or her family. “This is…” or “my friend…” mean very different things. If you were introduced to the parents specifically as “my friend,” unfortunately, you are probably nothing more than that.
3. Where is the love?
No romance in the relationship? Clearly, this is one of the most obvious signs that separate a romantic relationship from a platonic one. If there is no romance, that is a bad sign. It could mean that your relationship is dull and needs some excitement, so there is hope there – you can always rekindle things! However, if there is no romance at all, it is a clear sign that your relationship here won’t become anything more than just that – friendship.
4. They bring other people along
When you make plans with your crush, do they invite other people along? If they do, this is a bad sign that you are probably deep in the friend zone. If your crush actually liked you, he or she would make a point of being with you alone. On the other hand, it could also be that your crush is afraid to spend time with you alone if they like you a lot. If that is the case, keep an eye on their body language. Do they sit next to you, or with someone else? This is a good indication of where you stand.
5. You are the go-to
Whether you are filling the role of the wingwoman/ wingman or simply being the one they always call in times of trouble, this can be a sign that your crush does not see you as anything more than a friend. If they harbor any romantic feelings toward you, they usually do not want you to see their bad side. Therefore, if you find yourself being the person that they always call when they are in trouble, you are probably in the friend zone.
6. You have shared a bed…with no other action
If you have shared a bed with your crush, and yet nothing has happened, this could be a sign that you are in the friend zone. Should your crush be comfortable lying beside you without making a move, this is a good sign that you are not relationship material in their eyes but you are just a friend instead. It is even worse if you find that your crush wears childish, unsexy pajamas in front of you. This is a clear signal that you are fully in the friend zone. If you are feeling bold, you can always try to initiate some physical activity, but you are probably just going to get rejection in return.
7. There is no intimacy
If you notice that your friend offers you no intimate touch, there is a good chance that you are in the friend zone. Even if your crush likes you, should you find that he or she pulls away every time you two touch casually, it is an indication that you are being friend-zoned.
8. You do not feel emotionally supported
If someone is in the friend zone, they won’t feel like they are supported or getting everything that they need. All good relationships are built out a mutually-satisfying exchange. If you are in the friend zone situation, you are going to be sacrificing your own happiness on someone who is not interested in having a long-lasting, meaningful relationship with you. And that is ultimately not fair to you.
9. Do your needs and wants matter?
When was the last time that your crush changed his or her schedule to meet your needs? Did your crush ever cancel plans with other friends to hang out with you? Did he or she ever go to a basketball game or concert with you, even though they might not have been interested in those activities? If you notice that you are the one making all the sacrifices – and not the other way around – this is a clear sign that you are being friend zoned.
10. They try to hook you up with other people
This is a very plain, very obvious, and very bad red flag. If your crush keeps trying to set you up with other people, they are obviously not interested in anything further with you. It is time to move on! If you find this happening, you should make a point of telling your crush how you feel. Honesty here is important because you want to make sure that neither of you is beating around the bush.
11. Other friends tell you
If your friends can see that you are in the friend zone – and you can’t – this is a significant sign that it is time to move on from your crush entirely. However, they might not be able to tell you this directly because they are afraid of hurting your feelings. On the other hand, if your crush’s friends know exactly what is going on and they let you know about it, then it is time to get serious and find someone else.
12. They do not make an effort with you
Now, you want your crush to be themselves with you, but you also want them to work on their appearances from time to time. If they never try to make an effort in improving their physical looks when they see you, it is an indication that they are not romantically interested. You have been friend zoned. Time to back off.
13. Listen to what they say
How do they talk about you? Does your crush use words like “sexy” or “lovely” to describe you? Or does your crush describe you like they would describe their pet dog with words like “adorable,” “friendly,” “cute,” or “silly.” These adjectives are clearly not meant for love interests, but instead, are meant for people who are simply friends.
14. They get dressed in front of you
If your crush has no shame and is willing to get dressed or undressed in front of you, that is a sign that you are in the friend zone. If you are at the beach and your crush is in their bathing suit, how do they interact with you? Do they keep adjusting themselves, fidgeting, or checking to see if you are looking at them? If that is the case, there is a good chance that you might NOT be in the friend zone because your crush is concerned that they do not look good in front of you! However, if your crush does not care about you seeing their faults, then that is a bad sign for you. If they trust you so much that you are an almost-family member, you are in the friend zone – there are no sexual feelings there.
15. Asking for favors suited to a partner
Asking for favors is something that people who are just friends do all the time. However, if your crush is always asking you to lend a hand while not giving you anything in return, that is a bad sign. This is particularly true if the favors are those that would be better suited for a romantic partner, like picking up a pregnancy test or something similar. Bad news – you are in the friend zone.
16. Even though you get drunk together, nothing happens
If you get drunk with your crush, that is a perfect opportunity for some chemistry to happen. However, think about the last time the two of you had this experience together. What happened? Did your crush fall asleep on the bed with nothing even along the lines of a quick hug or brief kiss? That is not a good sign. Many people use alcohol to help them make their advances, but if you find that your crush still does not do anything with Jim Beam on their side, it is time for you to move on.
17. Watching movies together
Have you ever watched an entire movie with your crush without any inkling of an intimate gesture occurring? This is a classic friend zone sign. If your crush places their head on your shoulder, you are likely being friend-zoned. To check whether this is actually the case, slide your arms around your crush. Do they move away? If they do not, you might be not as far into the friend zone as you thought.
18. Overly comfortable with each other
Does your crush text or call you anytime something happens regardless of whether it is super exciting or mind-numbingly boring? If so, you might be in the friend zone. If your crush likes you in a more romantic way, he or she will be more mysterious when it comes to their personal life. They will only want to share the truly exhilarating aspects of their lives because they will want to impress you. Otherwise, they won’t bother to hide the details.
19. Using pet names
If your crush likes you as more than a friend, they won’t use corny names to address you, like “kiddo,” “bff,” or “my brother.” That would be weird! If your crush calls you these names, particularly in public places, sorry for you, pal. You’re in the friend zone!
20. They do not want to commit
You can’t change anybody, no matter how hard you try. If someone has told you flat out that they are not interested in having a serious relationship, you need to move on. You are not going to change their negative response to romance no matter how hard you try. You are not going to be the one that makes them want to settle down, even with your best efforts.
21. They go shopping with you
Does your crush ask you to go with them on a shopping trip? If they do, how often do you find yourself trying to pick out the right top or shoe? Particularly if you are interested in a woman, should you find yourself in this situation, you are in big trouble. She is probably not interested in anything romantic with you.
22. You are always a shoulder to cry on
If you are always the one that your crush turns to when they are at their most vulnerable, this is an obvious sign that they view you as a friend and nothing else. They want the support and emotional validation that you can provide but not a relationship with you. This shows that your crush is overly comfortable, trusting with you and does not view you in a romantic way.
How to Move On
If you keep finding yourself swept up in romantic thoughts with your crush, you need to decide whether they are actually giving you the time of day or whether they are sweeping you under the rug. Should you find yourself in the friend zone, you need to make the decision of whether you want to continue being disappointed by this person or not. Be cautious, as being in the friend zone is not a great place to be.