The concept is not a new one, dirty talk turns guys on, we all know that. A lot of women feel uncomfortable with using raunchy bed talk, though. It can feel unnatural, put-on, and just plain out of your comfort zone. Some women suffer the misconception that dirty talk is slutty and falls into the category of “bad girl” behavior. That is not so! Of course, it can be difficult to shake off old ideas. But as always, we are here to help!
Talk Dirty To Your Boyfriend
Sexy language is not unnatural. It feels unnatural to most women because we have been brought up to be “good girls”. Society wants us to sit back, be demure, and be content with what we have been given. That has been the case for centuries, and the idea of what a female should behave like is deeply burned into our consciousness. Things are starting to change, but for most of us, the idea that we as women can (and should) stand up and say loudly and clearly what we want, is still novel, and a little frightening. So, it is no wonder that we associate naturally free sexual behavior with being a “bad girl”. Men aren’t weighed down with this moral burden, and we should learn from them.
Using provocative and sexual phrases is not just a turn on for your man. Try it out and see how good it feels for you, too! As everything you do in your sex life, this should not be something you do against your own will or just to please your partner. Much rather it should be something that works for both of you. You will be surprised at how turned on you will become when you use dirty talk. Free your mind, unleash that inner part of yourself that is struggling to get out, and see how strong and sensual you will feel. To use that kind of intimate and private language that you wouldn’t usually dream of will be arousing for both you and your man. And just imagine the surprise it is going to give him…
Why Dirty Talk works for him
Men are visual creatures, which is why we wear push-up bras, bold shades of lip stick, high heels, short skirts and low tops. When you go out and you are all dolled up for a night in town, you know you will turn heads. When we look good, men watch us, and we know that they like what they see. Unfortunately, as a result, often we see men as creatures who are always on the brink of wanting sex. We tend to forget that they are just, well, people with feelings and emotional needs. Men are not machines, they want to know (just like us women) that they are wanted, desired, and they respond to that.
One way to give this to your man is to use dirty talk. Use your seductive powers to make him feel sexy, show him that you lust after him. If you have been in a relationship for a while, this is a fantastic possibility to show your partner that you don’t take him for granted but that you are still deeply attracted to him. If you can give him this feeling, it will increase his self-confidence but also his sexual confidence. Now, enough with the psychological talk – let’s get started for real!
The Art of Teasing
When you start using dirty talk, don’t think you have to keep it strictly to the bedroom. In fact, it will work much better when you start using hot languages during the day. Just imagine how your partner will react when he gets a raunchy message from you while he is at work. What will he think of for the rest of his day? He might find it a bit hard to concentrate on his work, thinking of what you have just told him. Did you make him a promise of something you want to do to him later on? Did you tell him you really want to feel him inside you? When you are using seductive talk throughout the day, you are engaging in a long and drawn-out foreplay. He will think about having sex with you all day long – just think how turned on he will be when he finally gets to you!
Maybe you have been with your partner for a long time and your sex life isn’t what it used to be anymore. Most people will tell you that this is normal, something that is to be expected and your appetite for each other wanes after a while. There are lots and lots of jokes about married couples and their bad sex life. It doesn’t have to be that way! Spice up your life, engage in long, teasing, erotic conversations, show your man you want him, and see how much he desires you.
Dirty Talk in Bed
Suggestive talk is great to get things going, but to keep things going, get naughty. Using seductive languages during the day builds up desire. When you are in bed together, kick it up a notch. It’s super-hot for your partner to see you let yourself completely go. If he can hear how much you like what he is doing to you, he’ll want to do it over and over again. Be as rude and naughty as you like for this is X-rated time, make the most of it. Have you ever wanted to tell him how much you love the feeling of his big throbbing cock in your mouth? Now is the time to say it.
Not all guys are the same. Maybe your boyfriend will go wild if you scream profanities at him. Maybe he gets more aroused when you whisper naughty words into his ears while you are caressing him. Experiment a bit and see what he responds to best. Does he like it when you are describing how it makes you feel when he licks you all over? Or does he prefer hearing you tell him in explicit detail what you’re going to do to him next ?
This is for both of you, so do what feels natural, but don’t censure yourself. The main thing is to make use of all his senses, have his imagination running at full speed, and intensify your sex life to reach your most ecstatic experience yet.
Create an Afterglow
Scenario A: Your boyfriend has just left you after a decent night of sex and an hour later, when he thinks of you, his thought is “Ah yeah, she’s cute, love her.”
Scenario B: Your boyfriend leaves you after a night of hot, steamy, incredible love-making and can’t shake thoughts of you off; he just can’t wait to get back to you.
Which do you prefer?
By making the sex as intense and vivid as you can while using dirty talk to tease him and remind him of what is waiting for him, you will always be at the forefront of his thoughts. You can start sexting him during his workday or leaving smutty voice messages on his phone to surprise him on his lunch break. Remind him of what you did last night, describe to him how it felt to you. Tell him that you can still feel him now if you close your eyes. Maybe send a picture. Keep him thinking of you and build all his fantasies around you then reap the benefits of that tension when you see him again.
Dirty Talk – The Guide
So far, we have talked a lot about why you should be naughtier. Now we’ll show you exactly how to make the most of your sex life:
- At the start, go easy. To begin with, just take it slowly, for both your sake. If you are not used to talking dirty, ease yourself into it bit by bit, otherwise it will feel forced and unnatural to you. And to him, it might come as a shock if you just jump right in there with the nasty stuff. He might wonder why your behavior has changed so much all of a sudden and be suspicious. So, don’t start with texting him about his hard cock, he might not know how to react to that. Be sexy, seductive and teasing in bed – tell him that he is hot, how sexy you find him, or that he makes you want him – and take it from there.
- Build it up. Once you have started seductive talking in the bedroom, you can widen the net. If he positively responds to things you’ve told him during sex, pick up on that again the next day. When you are having coffee in the morning, smile and say, “I just remember how you did xxx last night”. Send him a dirty message during the day and keep turning up the heat bit by bit. Soon you can have a kinky lunch time phone call or you can whisper hot obscenities into his ear while you are visiting his family.
- Figure out how he likes it. Men are not all alike and different phrases work for different guys. Your partner might like it when you are really pornographic and explicit in what you say. Somebody else could prefer if you keep an air of innocence. Another man will like it when you ask him simple questions instead of making raunchy statements, like “Do you like coming in my mouth?”
- Be true to yourself! In all things sex, this is the most important one to remember. Do not ever do something that doesn’t feel right to you. Dirty talk should be fun for you too. While we are certain that it will be, if it isn’t, don’t do it. Sexy talk should come from a place inside yourself where you feel free, sensual, and confident. But if it takes you a while longer to find that place, that’s fine and don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
- No forcing it! This goes hand in hand with the last point but is more focused on the effect your dirty talk has if it isn’t natural. If you tell him things you don’t actually mean, your partner will detect that and be put off. If you fake the desire to make him hot for you by talking dirty, it’s simply not going to work for either of you. Remember, sex is supposed to be fun, so giggling and laughing is absolutely allowed. There could be some time when you are both figuring out your sexy talk techniques.
- Dirty does not equal aggressive. Steamy, lewd, and lusty language does not mean going for forceful or pushy power play. You can be assertive and know what you want without forcing those ideas on somebody. Remember, men can be shy, too! You can be raunchy and feminine at the same time, while more often than not the combination of your innocence and fragility with the sexy side of yourself will really skyrocket your partner’s desire!
Just to get you started, here are some ideas of what you could say to your partner. Start off slowly but keep turning up the heat and eventually you will come up with your own phrases, until you won’t be able to stop yourself anymore!
Teasing talk to build up the heat
- I need to get you home. This wait is killing me!
- Every time, I look at your eyes, I feel wet down here.
- I love seeing you in a tight pair of jeans.
- If we weren’t here (some public place) right now, you’d have no chance of keeping your clothes on absolutely.
- Just ate dinner, but you wanna come over for dessert? Bring whipped cream and easy-to-remove clothing.
- Let’s ditch inner wears tonight and make it memorable forever.
- Tonight I’m going to give you a little surprise. (Works great as a text)
- Do you think I have panties on right now?
- What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about me? I know what mine is about you…
- Let’s have a sultry video chat tonight. What do you say?
- I was thinking of having a stay-in-bed day on Saturday; what do you think?
- There’s something about seeing you do any kind of physical labor that is a massive turn on.
- What are you doing after work, I need some of your cock ASAP.
- Tonight’s menu is indeed exciting. It is a yummy pizza and me.
- What color bra do you think I’m wearing? (You can swap this with panties too.)
- Nothing makes me as turned on as seeing you when you’re angry.
- Damn, you smell good enough to eat.
- It was such a horrible day for me; please give me a sultry and relaxing neck massage.
- If I promised to be your slave for the night, what would you make me do?
- Seeing you right after a workout when you are all sweaty is incredible.
- I just want to make you whole face wet with my juices.
- I was daydreaming about you today, and it was hot. (Perfect as a text message.)
- Looking deep into your blue/green/brown eyes makes me weak at the knees.
- Are you hungry baby? I wanna swallow you up.
- If you had to make a list of your favorite sex positions, where would you put doggy?
- Discover more: 9 Wild Sex Positions You Should Try For Your Next Sex Session
- I wish we weren’t out in public. I wish we were alone, know what I mean? (Give your man a sly smile when you say this).
- I’m not responsible for what happens to your cock if you keep looking at me that way.
- I can’t wait to show you what I’m wearing under this … I think you’re going to like it!
- I can only think of one thing right now, and it’s you naked in my bed.
- If you behave until we are alone, then I’m going to do something you will adore. (Again, try smiling slyly when you say this.)
- I’m touching myself right now.
- You’re so freaking hot, I can’t imagine sharing you with anyone.
- Meet me for lunch. I want you to grope me in the car.
- I’d like to share every inch of my body with you.
- I can’t wait for you to put it in me.
- When I wake up, the first thing I think of is how you f**k me.
- You have such a dirty mind, and it works on me!
- I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I’m going to do to you tonight…
- Let’s f**k in front of a big mirror so I can see you making love to me.
- You make me think such dirty thoughts!
- Just watching you makes me want to finger myself.
X-rated talk for ecstatic sex
- Kiss me.
- Bang me hard, honey, I want to scream loudly.
- I need to feel you on me so bad.
- Feeling you overpower me and dominate me is so damn hot!
- It makes me want to come when you pull my hair.
- Abuse me by calling me a bitch. Arouse the animal inside me, playboy.
- When I saw you walk in, I could feel myself instantly get aroused.
- I wish you could just hold me in your arms all day long.
- Give me all of you, I want you all the way inside me.
- Spank me harder. I want to be your bitch tonight.
- There is something about you grabbing my hair at the back of my head that makes me just melt.
- I don’t think there is anything hotter than looking at your face when you’re concentrating.
- Punish me with your whips, I am all yours.
- Do you prefer blowjobs or handjobs?
- There is something insanely hot when I pin you down.
- Your body feels like heaven. I’m insatiable.
- Hold my neck hard, I wanna feel like a crazy animal.
- Yes, just like that.
- This cock is all I need, & maybe some air.
- Tonight, let’s make out in our kitchen, my naughty boy.
- Don’t stop!
- Your dick is so full. It feels amazing.
- Tear my clothes as roughly as you can and ride on me.
- It makes me explode when you hold my buttocks that way.
- Let’s have a shower so that you can undress me.
- Tell me where you want to touch me first. *get naked and stand in front of him*
- What naught little thing do you want me to do to you next?
- I am all wet down there, please go deeper and bang it loudly.
- You feel so good in me I wanna scream.
- Yes, that’s what I like. That is so hot. F**k me more.
- I love how your tongue feels down there.
- F**k me more I’m going to cum.
- You’re such a sex machine!
- I want to make you come so hard.
- Show me where you want me to bite you.
- Sweetie, let me get on top of your cock.
- You’re such a bad boy!
- You need to grab my tits & hold them while I cum.
- Squeeze my boobs harder and kiss me.
- I’m your naughty girl.
- I wanna f**k you in every room tonight!
- Your cock is huge.
- Oh god! / Oh yeah!
- I want it inside of me ASAP.
- Tie me up and ride me harder.
- Do you want to watch me suck you?
- Grab my ass and bang me harder.
- I love when you are hard.
- You’re so big it hurts me so much but I still want it!
- You make me so wet it does not feel real.
- You can have all of me, but you have to pay me first!
- You are the biggest turn on.
- Get in deeper! *Grab him by his butt and claw him with your nails*
- Can I touch it?
- Punish me! I’ve been a really bad girl.
- You really know how to make a girl wet…
Sensual talk to keep the afterglow going
In this section, you will find some phrases you can use when you are not together, but you want him to think of you and remember the things you have done. These are especially suitable for texts and emails.
- When are you coming home? I miss your cock inside me baby.
- I know you are usually in charge in the bedroom, but I sort of want to tie you up. I think it would be hot.
- Come home early honey, I feel hot.
- I love the way you fill me up.
- Lying in bed and bored. Wish you were here to play Simon Says with me 😉
- That little thing you do with your tongue inside me, it’s insane.
- Would you mind if I cooked naked for you? (No guy will refuse this!)
- Hey honey! Remember the push-up bra that I bought yesterday, tonight you have to unlock it.
- I want to see what magic you can perform with your tongue.
- I feel like something’s missing in my life. Namely you. Between my legs.
- How can I please you? Can I suck on you a little?
- I want to see what magic you can perform for me tonight. (Perfect as a text message).
- Whenever I fantasize about your body, it makes me wet.
- You taste amazing.
- Confession: I’ve been naughty today and probably deserve a spanking. If only there were someone to do it…
- Do you wanna dive inside? I’m nice and wet for you.
- I woke up wet this morning.
- I haven’t touched me for two days, punish me and spank me for that.
- I’m listening to a song that makes me think totally dirty thoughts about you! If you were here we’d probably make some of them reality 😉
- Your every gesture is kind of irresistible for me.
- Guess what I’m thinking? OK, I’ll give you a hint. It involves my tongue and you naked.
- How do you do the things you do in bed? You make me all wet and bothered.
- You are amazing in the bed. Let’s create the magic once again tonight.
- Confession: Sometimes I can’t help but touch myself when I think about you.
- Have you ever had a wet dream with me in it? Be honest…
- Next time, I want you to f**k me from behind.
- Hey, just wanted to let you know that if you’re ever having a hard time, like a really hard time, I’m there for you. I mean, I can give you a hand… or something.
- What is your fantasy? What should we try next? I’d like to f**k you in the shower.
- Just got out of the shower and had to text this really sexy guy I know. Didn’t even have time to put clothes on.
- No matter how far you are, I can feel your dick inside me.
- What do you want me to do to you tonight?
- I’m not wearing anything under this robe, and I’m touching myself thinking of you.
- When you come over today, I want to start in bed. Just FYI.
- You should probably clear your schedule for tomorrow morning because I plan on staying up late with you tonight. Very late.
- You have the hottest ass I’ve ever seen.
- Remember that time that you f**ked me against the wall?
- I can’t stop thinking of what you did to me last night.
These are just our ideas to get you started. Now it’s time you come up with your own! There are no limits to the sensual and sexual joy you and your partner can gain from this. From a day-long foreplay over an intensive night of love-making to remembering and basking in the wake of the experience, dirty talk will just keep you going on and on.
See this as your first step to learning a life-long skill that will keep your relationship fresh and exciting at all times. By intensifying your sex life this way, you create a far greater intimacy than you could ever have dreamed of experiencing with your man, and you will lead a strong, resilient relationship that is satisfying beyond belief.