You have dated more than a handful of women and have always managed to be close to them, yet you keep a safe distance at the same time. You treasure your space – that is one thing you have never compromised on. Your space, in a physical and emotional sense, is the one place you retreat to and are happy to be alone.
You are Changing and You Don’t Know Why
Something is different about the girl you are dating now. You are always thinking about her and you want to spend as much time with her as you possibly can. The lure of alone time in your bachelor pad, on your couch watching Netflix is not nearly as strong as your desire to spend time with her. Even more amazing is that you actually don’t mind sharing your sacred space with her. Could you be falling in love with her?
Am I In Love With Her?
Like many people, love is this big but fuzzy concept which you can’t really define. Would you recognize it when it strikes? Here is our compilation of changes you are likely to notice, most of them in yourself, when the love bug bites.
You get nervous
You know you are falling in love with her when you get nervous and your palms get all sweaty just before a date with her. It is interesting to note that social studies have shown that falling in love can give you the very same physical symptoms you would get before a big exam or a job interview. While these feelings are not pleasant at the time you are experiencing them, they could be the source of a good laugh between the two of you years later. She will love to hear you narrate how you struggled to keep your palms dry when you came out to meet her.
Her quirks are cute
We all have little quirks which often irritate the world out of our spouses and family – they just don’t make sense to other people! You know you are in love when your girlfriend’s quirks seem cute and absolutely charming. The fact that they don’t make sense adds to the charm! It cracks you up that she uses two different brands of toothpaste in the mornings and evenings. As far as you are concerned, her long-standing Sunday evening ritual to have a bowl of hazelnut ice cream before bed is the cutest thing you have ever heard. It also presents an opportunity for you to unexpectedly show up at her door on Sunday afternoon with a tub of hazelnut ice-cream in hand.
Cheesy lyrics make sense
You know you are in love when all of a sudden you can relate to the cheesy lyrics of a song you have been hearing on the radio for so many years. Yes, she makes you feel exactly like the artist describes in his song. The last thing anyone who knows you would call you is poetic, but now you feel this unignorable need to write it all down. You want to express your feelings for her on paper even if she never gets to see it. When you read through your musings, it could pass for a top-of-the-charts love song written by a professional lyricist.
Spending time is rejuvenating
When you are in love, you look forward to spending time with her. It doesn’t matter what you will be doing, you could go out to the movies or just sit at a restaurant and chat all evening. Whatever it is, it lifts your spirits and leaves you feeling completely rejuvenated. When you don’t see her for a while, you miss her. You feel deprived of something you can’t place your finger on.
She is always on your mind
She is the last thought of the day and first thought in the morning.
Quite cliché but yes, she is the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep and the first thing on it when you get up in the morning. You may not tell anyone about it but you have dreamt about her a couple of times, too!
Everything somehow links to her. You are walking down a street you have been on hundreds of times before but suddenly everything you see somehow brings your mind to her – in your head at least. You see a sequined scarf in a shop window and you can’t help but think she would probably love it because she loves sequins. Oh, you notice there is a new restaurant on the corner and your first thought is that you should try it sometime – with her, of course!
Your stress levels are up
Although being in love is associated with constant smiles and warm fuzzy feelings, that is not always the case. In the early stages of being in love, the brain produces cortisol
, a stress hormone which can make you edgy. It gets worse if you are in love with someone and not sure if they feel the same way. If you notice that you suddenly have a short fuse when such doubts about a love interest are simmering in your mind, you may be falling in love with her.
That crazy need to update her
Every time something interesting happens, you have to tell her about it. Something interesting happens at work and you can’t wait for the break to call her and tell her about it. You saw a hilarious billboard on the street on the way to work and you instantaneously took a picture and sent it to her knowing she would find it funny. And guess what? It really did crack her up, too!
The same goes for sad moments. You just got word that your aunt Mariel passed on. Even though you haven’t seen her in years, you have warm childhood memories of her. The thought that your girlfriend might see you as less of a man is the last thing on your mind when you call her to tell her just how sad you are feeling right now.
Making sure she is comfortable is top priority
When you are falling in love with someone, you consciously – or subconsciously – go out of your way to make them happy. It is the so-called compassionate love at play. You are happy to drive across town to pick her up from the airport after a brief trip. Fixing her breakfast on a busy morning need not be forced on you. It comes naturally and you are glad to do it.
Quality time is redefined
When you were younger, the amount of fun you had on a night out was based on how wasted you and the guys got. A few years later, you had some dollars to splash so the best night out was spent treating your girl to a sophisticated dinner at a flashy restaurant.
Now all that doesn’t seem to matter much. The best evenings are spent just hanging out at yours or watching series at hers. It really doesn’t matter what you watch, just spending a couple of hours together laughing through a show as random as America’s Funniest Home Videos is enough to stealthily but surely draw a grin on your face – one that won’t go away for a couple of days.
She wrote back, hallelujah!
You wrote her a text message early this morning and went about your day as usual. An hour later, you notice that there is a new message from her. You are excited even before you read it!
Just the thought that she took time to write back makes you feel great. Of course, you try to act like it’s no big deal but who are you kidding? So you wait at least half an hour before responding just so you don’t come off as too eager but the text message is enough to make your morning. If this sounds familiar, then you are definitely falling in love.
You try new things
When you first start dating a girl, you go out of your way to impress her. You dress up sharp, take her to fancy restaurants and perhaps buy her a few little gifts. As time goes by, you get more comfortable and are less willing to venture out of your comfort zone just for her. On the contrary, when you are in love, you gladly try new things well into the relationship. Jazz music is the last thing you ever imagined you would listen to because you have always found it so boring. Now that she loves jazz, you know all the jazz clubs in town. On top of that, you are actually starting to enjoy this ‘strange’ music yourself!
Sometimes two people click in a way that can’t quite be explained. They laugh at the same jokes (when other people don’t think it’s particularly funny) and they seem to share the same ‘warped’ view on life. Their brains seem to be transmitting on a similar frequency, they have an intense level of connection. If this describes you and your girl, you are probably falling in love with her. On top of a connection deeper than anything you have ever had with anyone else, the two of you have to struggle to keep your hands off each other. If left alone, you could set off the fire alarm with all those sparks flying around!
You are listening, like, really listening
For some reason, you have always struggled to maintain 100% attention when a girl talks for more than a hundred and twenty seconds straight. Somehow you always find yourself drifting off even as you continually nod your head to assure her that you are still listening. You have always thought that that is just how it is – women talk too much. With this girl, however, something is different. She talks alright but she is really interesting. You never drift off no matter how long she talks and you enjoy every second of it.
On top of listening, you also remember! You can recall things she said to you several months ago. The stuff actually stays put in your mind! All your ex-girlfriends complained because you forgot stuff they said and you thought it is simply impossible to keep so many details in your mind.
There are two reasons why you seem to have suddenly acquired the ability to listen and retain information.
- You are genuinely interested in what she is talking about because it has to do with something you have in common
- You are hoping this girl will be in your life for a long time so you subconsciously make an effort to recall details because it will make her happy.
No obstacles is too big
When you are in love, you are willing to do whatever it takes to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. If your girlfriend has to move to another state for a few months, the last thing on your mind is a breakup. Instead, it is time to embrace regular long-distance phone calls and you can definitely re-adjust your budget to visit her every so often.
You genuinely care
It may sound cold but there is a reason why it is exhausting when a random person goes on and on about how hard their life is. It is simply because you don’t care about them.
However, when you are in love, you want to know everything about that person – even the smallest of details. You find them heartwarming rather than silly or vain. You look forward to hearing about her day. If she had a bad day and is upset about something, you genuinely feel bad about it. You try to cheer her up, not because you feel obliged to but because you truly feel better when she cheers up. On the flip side, when she has good news, you are happy for her and genuinely happy because she is happy.
When you are with her, time flies. Well, yes we had to include the cliché because it is true! Time spent with someone you are in love with just seems to whizz by. You meet up for lunch with the intention of getting back home by late afternoon. However, the next time you glance at your watch, it is already a few minutes to six. What! Where did the time go? This feeling of lost time has been explained using two theories:
- When two people are in love, their minds operate on what could be compared to a common wavelength. When they get into a conversation, they fall into it and out of everyday individual wavelengths.
- Another theory says it simply has to do with intense concentration. When you concentrate on something intensely, time seems to whizz by.
Your ex is a distant memory
When you broke up with your ex-girlfriend, it felt like the end of the world and the pain would never go away
. Now you are with your new girlfriend and one day, it dawns on you that your ex has not crossed your mind in a while. When you bump into your ex at the store, you exchange pleasantries and part – and you feel totally fine. You always thought you would crumble when you set eyes on her again, but not at all! In fact, you take one last glance at her as she fades into the distance and you have to think hard to remember what it is you saw in her. This is because you are falling for your new girl!
Other girls seem plain
Many men say the fact that they are in a relationship doesn’t stop them from noticing beautiful women around them. But when the love bug bites, the girl in your life is not just beautiful, she really is the most stunning woman you have ever laid your eyes on.
Shakespeare did say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and with this girl, you just cannot behold enough. A walk through the mall where you would ordinarily come across lots of hot girls yields none of that anymore. The girls are still there but they suddenly seem so plain!
You can’t keep her a secret
Yes, there have been times when you have been seeing a girl and your friends never even got to know about it. You never introduced her to them and never felt the need to say anything about her to them. Well, that is not the case with this girl. You introduced her to your friends quite early on and even when it is just you and the boys on Friday night, she is all you talk about. The strange thing is that you don’t even notice just how much you talk about her until one of your friends complained about it.
So, do You Believe in Love?
For some people, the idea of falling in love makes them all dreamy and happy inside. It is something they look forward to all their lives. Others swear to themselves that they will never allow it to happen. For these non-believers, it connotes a lack of control, a sense of enslavement to another person. Either way, love can strike at any moment – especially when you least expect it to. This list will come in handy for many who are in denial or those who are not sure if what they feel is real love.