It’s not easy being a single guy in a large office. You are surrounded by men and women with whom you spend at least 35 hours a week all year round. You silently wish you could find genuine, lasting romance among the sea of women you interact with every day. Perhaps you’re not interested in a serious relationship, but wouldn’t mind the excitement of a new romance.
Women flirt with you all the time but you can’t tell who is genuinely interested and who is doing it to get a favor from you. It is one of the most frequently asked questions online: How can a man tell if a female co-worker likes him? No man wants to respond to what he thought were flirtatious cues from a co-worker, only to get slapped with allegations of sexual harassment.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I worked as an IT Support Officer at a company that had about 70 percent female staff my age. This was a great experience for me. Where else would I have learned to be totally comfortable around very attractive, smartly dressed women? On the flip side, I was frustrated because many of my female co-workers flirted with the men in my department in order to get higher priority when it came to IT support. Even when I liked a girl, I could never be sure if she was flirting with me because she genuinely likes me or for her own benefit.
Initially I struggled to distinguish between faked and genuine interest. Over the years, I learned to tell the difference.
Here are some of the lessons I learned. This is my list of telltale signs a female co-worker genuinely likes you and would like to date you.
Signs a female coworker likes you
1. The Undeniable Sparkle in Her Eye
When a woman likes you, you bring out a certain twinkle in her eye. She may not even notice it herself but others will. If she instantly beams when she sees you, she is attracted to you. If being around you makes her happy, immediately puts her in a good mood you will certainly notice it. Even in situations where she tries to hide her feelings for you, her eyes will betray her.
2. She Goes Out of Her Way To Touch You
Yes, touch is a sign that a woman is attracted to you. She may playfully hit you in the middle of a random conversation or ‘accidentally’ bump into you along an office corridor. When she is walking through an area where she has more than enough room but still grazes her hand over your back, she is trying to say something. These are all part of the body language of attraction.
3. She Compliments You Often
No, compliments are not always a sign that a female co-worker likes you. She could be innocently appreciating your suit with no intention of sending any signals. The same way you would complement a female colleague in a particularly nice dress. You know your female co-worker likes you when she compliments you more often than what you would consider normal. She may tell you that she likes your new haircut, and later in the day mention how the color of your shirt brings out your eyes. If she, towards the end of the day, suddenly notices that you are wearing the most spectacular tie, you know she likes you.
4. She Greets You Often
It is common courtesy to greet and be greeted by co-workers every morning. As long as it is early in the day, it is polite to say good morning to colleagues. Does one lady greet you a lot more often than she greets other guys? This may be a sign that she likes you.
5. She Never Forgets to Wish You a Good Day
If she walks from her desk to yours every morning just to say hello and wish you a great day, she is probably interested in you. Maybe she has made a habit of stopping by your desk for a quick chat before she starts her day. Well, this extra attention should not go unnoticed.
6. She Frequently Makes Eye Contact With You
When we talk about eye contact in this situation we are not talking about the everyday conversation kind of eye contact. Conversational eye contact should mean nothing more than good social behavior. However, we all know that eye contact is a definite sign that a girl likes you. So what kind of eye contact is meaningless and which one means something? Well, if a girl makes prolonged eye contact with you (more than what feels normal) she is probably interested in you.
Another form of eye contact is what some call the ‘double take.’ You’re sitting across the room from a girl and you make eye contact. She quickly looks away, only to glance back at you again when she thinks you have shifted your gaze. That’s the double take. If a girl gives you that, she is definitely interested. If you also like her, be sure to flash her an inviting smile to let her know you notice her.
7. She Often Asks If You Will Attend Work Events
There is a work event next weekend and she won’t rest until she knows if you will be attending. She doesn’t seem bothered whether any of the other guys will be going. The truth is that she will have a better time if you are there because she may get a chance to spend time with you. If she is contemplating skipping the event, she will go if she knows you will be there. Of course we can’t forget the fact that your presence at the event will determine if she goes out of her way to look dazzling or not.
8. She Looks for Reasons to See You
She never runs out of excuses to see you. It could be that she is always having problems which only you can solve. Maybe she has questions she seems to believe only you can answer. Some women are more forward. She may come to your desk and tell you what a rough day she is having. This should be flattering because it means being around you makes her feel better.
9. You Are The First to Get Treats She Shares With Colleagues
Little treats and snacks from your female colleague are another sign that she likes you. If you’re the first beneficiary of cookies she made last night or chocolates she got from her recent trip overseas…it is no coincidence. She is out of the office for a meeting but she sends you a text message saying she packed some extra casserole for you along with her lunch. “It’s on the second shelf of the break room fridge… enjoy” is how the message ends. She is making it clear that she would make a good future wife for you.
10. She Remembers Random Details
You never realized that she watches how you fix your coffee every morning. One day you go out for coffee and when the waitress asks how you like your coffee, you both speak in chorus… “Two creams and one sugar.” Yes, that is exactly how you like your coffee. She definitely doesn’t know how any of the other guys in the office like their coffee. That should tell you something about how she feels about you.
11. She Goes Out of Her Way To “Bump” Into You
She will make every effort to spend a minute or two with you. She may take the longer route from the bathroom to her desk just so she can pass by your desk. And wouldn’t it be rude if she didn’t say hello and ask how you are doing? Well, she thinks so.
12. You Are the Subject of Her Conversations with Female Co-Workers
If you learn that your female colleague is constantly talking to her friends about you, she definitely likes you. Even the most private woman has a friend or two in the office who she confides in. If that friend doesn’t keep the secret, you will soon learn exactly how she feels. If you like her too, it will feel great to hear this. Imagine meeting one of her friends and the first thing they say to you is ‘I have I heard a lot about you!’ It means you’re on her mind a lot.
While I was still working at the IT job, I almost lost a great opportunity with a girl I liked. She was an extremely attractive woman who I thought was way out of my league. When she flirted with me on several occasions, I assumed she did it to get me to prioritize her IT needs.
When she invited me to join her and some of her department colleagues for drinks after work one day, I gladly accepted the invitation. Even though I read nothing into it and assumed it was nothing more than a friendly invitation.
When I got to the bar one of her friends blurted “So you’re the guy she is always talking about?” Needless to say, I was very happy to hear those words.
13. She Has a Keen Eye for Changes in You
It is natural to notice even the slightest changes in a person when you are paying close attention to them. You added another trinket to the many knick-knacks on your desk and she quickly noticed it. She just complimented you on your new sweater. That caught your attention because it means that she now knows your wardrobe well enough to know when there is a new entrant. It’s not about the sweater or the trinket, it’s about the fact that she pays very close attention to your details. You cannot ignore it.
14. She Makes After Work Invitations
If she likes you, she will want to spend more time with you. She may invite you to join her and some co-workers to lunch or to accompany her to an after-work cocktail. A more forward invitation may be for just the two of you to have drinks after work. Spending time with her will help you get to know her better and enable you determine if she is genuinely interested in you. Even if you find that she is honestly interested, you may not be interested in her. Spending time with her will enable you decide if she is the kind of girl you would consider dating.
15. She Quickly Grabs The Spot Next To You During Meetings
Women have an instinctive need to be in close proximity to someone they like. If a few of you are sitting in a large meeting room, one would expect people to sit far apart. She doesn’t conform to such expectations when you are around. She will be happy to sit right next to you even when the rest of the room is empty.
16. She Tries To Create Inside Jokes with You
She tries to develop jokes which only the two of you get. She brings them up when you are both in the presence of other colleagues and enjoys giving them the impression that the two of you share inside jokes. If your colleagues begin to suspect that there might be something going on between the two of you, she is definitely not in a hurry to correct them.
17. She Asks You Work-Related Questions That Have Nothing to Do With Her Responsibilities
When a female co-worker walks all the way from her desk to yours to ask you a question which has absolutely nothing to do with her roles and responsibilities in the company, she likes you. Later in the day she is back at your desk with yet another question. This time it is one which you are sure could have been answered by someone who sits right next to her. She is obviously looking for excuses to talk to you. If you are not interested in her she may become somewhat of an irritant. If you like her, enjoy the attention and answer as many questions as you possibly can.
18. Your Break Time Becomes Her Break Time
You are a creature of habit. You take you break at the same time every day. Your colleagues all take their breaks at random times. If she suddenly starts taking her break at the same time as you, just so you can find yourselves in the employee lounge at the same time, she is trying to spend more time with you. If you are not sure if it is just a coincidence, try re-adjusting your break time and see if she suddenly starts taking her break at the same time. If she does, she likes you.
19. Coworkers Are Asking about Your Relationship…Like There is Already One!
You have already heard from several of her friends that she talks about you a lot. You have already established that you’re on her mind often. Now your colleagues are asking direct questions about the relationship… as though a relationship already exists.
You walk into the break room and one of the guys asks “So are you and Chrissie officially dating now?” You give him a bewildered look and all he can say is “What? Not yet! What the hell are you waiting for?”
Sometimes the clearest and most obvious signals confirming that a female co-worker likes you are observed by other colleagues. People who know the both of you and interact with you often observe signals you may not see. It is best to ask such a colleague exactly what he has observed to give him the impression that the woman likes you. Take this information and keep it mind. It will come in handy in the future.
20. She Sends You Many Emails and Personal Messages
If you are not really interested in her it could get annoying. If you like her, her numerous messages will warm your heart. If she sends you more emails than officially necessary and lots of emoticon-filled messages, you have more than enough reason to believe she is attracted to you.
- Discover more: How to Navigate an Office Romance
To Sum Up
It is not easy to tell for certain if a female co-worker likes you or not. Use these tips to guide you. You may find that female colleagues have been throwing signals your way for months, but you never quite understood them. If that’s the case, all is not lost. Now you are well informed, you radar is up and stronger than ever.